Lost in the Darkness
by Michael7123
Summary: The story off the last of us main game, covering the events of the story while also exploring events in between gameplay. This story will show how the father-daughter bond between Joel and Ellie formed over the course of nearly a year. Will contain lots of angst and lots of fluff, be prepared for both at all times.
1. Prologue

**[AN] This will be my second series of Fan fiction. This is going to deal with how the loss of Sarah plunged Joel into darkness, and how Ellie became Joel's light. At times, this is going to be extremely depressing and sad. Enjoy (for lack of a better term). This does take place in the same Universe as "Look for the Light", but you don't have to read one to appreciate the other (but you still should). This will mostly be from Joel's 3rd person POV. **

**It should go without saying that this contains spoilers.**

* * *

**_"Courage is not having the strength to go on; it is going on when you don't have the strength" - Theodore Roosevelt _**

* * *

**[Early morning, September 27th, 2013]**

Joel woke up in tears. He had gotten next to no sleep.

He heard someone move next to him. "Sarah, is that you baby girl?" He cried out, begging for everything that happened last night to have been some godawful nightmare, that Sarah would be right next to him, waking him up and asking him to make breakfast for her.

He saw Tommy next to him. "Joel." He said, "We have to get moving. It's not safe here."

That's when Joel realized everything that happened last night was real. He was in an abandoned building, and he had been asleep on the floor.

He had carried Sarah to her death. She died in his arms.

He felt dizzy. There was an agonizing pain in his chest.

She was gone. Forever.

"No no no. Please God. Give her back. I'll do anything, don't take her from me. Please!" He was sobbing uncontrollably.

"She's all I have. Please." He said, still weeping, but not as violently now.

He noticed the revolver lying on the floor.

Tommy saw him reach for the revolver, and grabbed his arm. Joel already had the gun in his hand, but he couldn't move it any closer to himself.

"I know what you're thinking Joel. Stop, now."

"Let go of me" Joel was still in tears.

Joel pushed his brother off him. He brought the gun up to his head.

"I'm sorry baby girl." He said to himself.

"What would Sarah want you to do Joel?. Would she want you to do this?"

Joel was furious, "Shut up! You have no idea what she wanted, what she meant to me!" He was pointing the gun at Tommy now.

Tommy backed away, in fear for his life.

Joel pointed the gun back at his head. He had his eyes open, but he couldn't see anything with all the tears in his eyes. "I'm going to be with you soon baby girl. I'm coming." He willed himself to pull the trigger.

He couldn't make himself do it. He tried for five minutes to end his miserable, empty, dark life.

"I'm so sorry Sarah. I'm sorry," he said as he passed out from exhaustion.

"Joel!" He heard his brother call out as everything went black.

* * *

He was at home making breakfast for Sarah. Everything was normal. He called out, "Breakfast's ready Sarah!" and heard his baby girl come rushing down the steps to eat with her father.

"Thanks for making breakfast dad." She smiled at him.

"No problem kiddo." Joel replied.

They sat down and started eating. After a couple of minutes, Sarah told Joel, "You know you're dreaming right?"

Joel remembered everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. He got up, ran over to Sarah, and hugged her.

"Oh baby girl. You're safe now. I'll never leave you again, ever. I love you so much." He was weeping with joy over seeing his daughter alive.

"Dad. Nothing that happened to me is your fault. None of it."

Joel looked at her, unsure what to say. "None of that could have happened. I'm with you. Nobody will hurt you. I'll die if anyone takes you-"

"Stop dad." Sarah said. Joel didn't know what to say.

"I'm gone already. I'm safe now." She smiled sadly.

"Sarah. Please don't leave me. You're everything to me."

"I can't Dad. I know the pain you are going through right now, and I wish I could help." Joel looked at her, begging that what she was saying wasn't true.

"Dad. Promise me something, okay?"

"Anything baby girl. Anything." Joel looked at her, still hoping that there was some way to stop feeling the agony of loosing his daughter.

"You still have a purpose down there. Promise me that no matter what, you'll keep on living."

Joel didn't know what to say. "I miss you so much Sarah. Please come back, I'm begging you."

Joel saw tears in his daughter's eyes. "Promise me daddy. Please."

Joel heard the words come out of his mouth before he knew what he was saying, "I promise."

Sarah smiled. "I'll miss you daddy. Look out for uncle Tommy, ok?"

"Sarah, please!" Joel was on his knees, begging her.

"Goodbye dad. I love you."

Then Joel woke up.

* * *

**[Mid- Morning, September 27th, 2013]**

"Joel, wake up!" Tommy was shaking his brother, trying to wake him up.

Joel woke up, crying softly. He didn't remember the dream. He tried reaching for the revolver again when he heard Sarah's voice in his head saying,_ You promised me dad. You Promised._

Joel stopped. The dream came back to him. _I have to live. For her._ He thought. He pulled back his hand.

"I'm awake Tommy. I'm fine." Joel managed to get out through his tears.

"We have to get moving. Common." Tommy grabbed the revolver, and walked out the door.

_I'm sorry Sarah. I'll never forget you_. He looked down on the watch she gave him less than a day ago.

_Forgive me._

He followed Tommy out the door.


	2. Chapter 1: Time Heals No Wounds

**[AN] If you completely broke down after reading the prologue, cheer up. This chapter isn't going to be nearly as emotional. Still, I would recommend having a bottle of whiskey and / or a basket of puppies this time [ you know who you are ;) ]**

**Shout out to authors Luciferine and CrimsonButterfly for helping me out with my writing. They have some of the best stories in this fandom, you're doing yourself a disservice by not checking out their work.**

**Also, thanks for giving me over 500 views in about 24 hours. It means a lot to me.**

**Just to be clear, Im starting this off moments before Joel meets Ellie. **

* * *

**_"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." -Rose Kennedy_**

* * *

**[Summer, 2033]**

"Joel, gimme a hand with this." Marline said, leaning next to the door. That gunshot wound had really done a number on her.

Joel opened the door and Marline fell through. She was on her knees and one hand, with the other holding on to her bleeding side.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Joel said calmly as he reached down to help Marlene, "Come on now, get on up."

"Get the fuck away from her!" Joel turned around to see a young, red haired, green eyed, teenage girl walk towards him with a switchblade pointed at him.

"Hey, hey, hey -" Tess grabbed the girl's arm preventing her from moving any closer to Joel. She tried getting free, but Tess was much stronger then her.

"Let her go." Tess pushed the girl's arm away, and she backed off. Joel closed the door.

_They must be in worse shape then I thought_. Joel thought to himself. "You're recruitin' kind of young, aren't ya?" He said to Marlene, who was getting up at this point.

"She's not one of mine." That left Joel a bit confused, but he honestly didn't care very much.

"Oh shit." Joel saw the girl walk past him and reach for Marlene's arm, helping her towards the nearby counter. Marlene leaned against it.

"What happened?" The girl asked. Joel could sense the concern in her voice.

"Don't worry. This is fixable." She paused trying to position herself comfortably. "I got us help. But I can't come with you."

The girl paused slightly shook her head as she said, "We'll then I'm staying."

"Ellie, we won't get another shot at this." Marlene was breathing heavily.

_So her name's Ellie..._ Then he realized what they where smuggling. "Hey-" he walked towards Marlene and pointed at Ellie, "We're smuggling her?"

"There's a crew of Fireflies that'll meet you at the capital building."

"That's not exactly close." Tess remarked.

"You're capable. You hand her off, come back, the weapons are yours. Double what Robert sold me."

"Speaking of which- where are they?"

"Back at our camp."

Tess looked back at Joel. The look on her face read _I can't believe this._ She looked back at Marlene and said, "We're not smuggling shit until I see them."

"You'll follow me. You can verify the weapons, I can get patched up." She pointed at Ellie, "But she's not crossing to that part of town."

"I want Joel to watch over her."

"I don't think that's the best idea." Joel responded pointing to the girl.

"Bullshit! I'm not going with him." Ellie pointed at Joel.

"Ellie..." Marlene wasn't giving her an option.

Ellie let out a breath and looked back at Marlene.

"How do you know them?" She asked.

"I was close with his brother Tommy. Said if I was ever in a jam, I could rely on him."

Joel turned to face Marlene. "Was that before or after he left your little militia group?"

"He left you too. He was a good man."

Tess walked up to him, "Look, just take her to the north tunnel and wait for me there."

"Jesus Christ." He couldn't believe that they were doing this.

"She's just cargo, Joel."

Joel gave up. He heard Ellie say, "Marlene..." Marlene cut her off. "No more talking. You'll be fine. Now go with him."

Joel looked over at Tess and said, "Don't take long." He couldn't believe they were agreeing to this.

He looked over the girl. _Hopefully I only need to deal with her for a few hours. Then we get our weapons and go on with our lives. _He said, "And you - stay close."

He walked out the door, and heard the girl follow him.

* * *

It had taken them a minute to get to the entrance to the north tunnel. When they were inside, she started asking questions.

"This tunnel. You use it to smuggle things?"

"Yep."

"Like illegal things?"

"Sometimes."

"You ever smuggle a kid before?"

"No. That's a first."

He couldn't help but be somewhat curious. How did this kid know the leader of a rebellion? "So what's the deal with you and Marlene, anyways?"

"I don't know. She's my friend, I guess."

"Your friend, huh? You're friends with the leaders of the fireflies. What're you, like twelve?"

"She knew my mom, and she's been looking after me." Her voice picked up as she added, "And I'm fourteen, not that that has anything to do with anything."

"So where are your parents?"

"Where are anyone's parents? They've been gone a long, long time."

"Hm. So instead of staying in school, you just decide to run off and join the Fireflies, is that it?"

"Look, I'm not supposed to tell you why you're smuggling me if that's what you're getting at."

Joel decided he wasn't going to bother with conversation this anymore, "You wanna know the best thing about my job? I don't gotta know why. Be honest, I could give two shits about what you're up to."

"Well great."

"Good."

They walked into the room that contained the passage to the north tunnel.

"This is it." Joel said as they walked in.

Joel closed the door behind them, and walked right up to the couch in the room. He fluffed one of the cushions, and lied down.

"What are you doing."

Joel's eyes were already closed. "Killing time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?"

"I am sure you will figure that out."

He heard Ellie slowly walk past him, but she stopped.

"Your watch is broken."

A few seconds later, darkness enveloped Joel.

* * *

Joel saw his daughter yawn and sit up on the couch.

"Hey."

"Scoot."

"Fun day at work, huh?"

"What are you still doing up? It's late."

"Oh crud, what time is it?"

"It's way past your bedtime."

"But its still today."

"Honey, please not right now, I do not have the energy for this."

"Here." Joel saw the light of his life hand him a small white box.

"What's this?"

"Your birthday."

He opened up the box. There was a brand new watch inside.

"You kept complaining about your broken watch... So I figured, you know." She stopped and smiled as she watched Joel put on the watch. "You like it?" She asked him smiling.

"Honey, this is .. It's nice but I think its stuck, its not moving."

"Oh." Said Sarah, who started crying. "I'm broken too, aren't I?" Joel quickly turned to his daughter, and was horrified.

She had a bullet wound, just above her left hip. She was bleeding heavily.

"Sarah!" He reached over to Sarah, who had fallen off the couch, and was lying on the floor, crying and holding on to her wound.

"I'm going to pick you up, ok?" Sarah was still weeping.

"I know I hurts baby, common. Stay with me!" She let out a cry of pain.

"Sarah?" Joel looked and saw the light fade from Sarah's innocent blue eyes.

"No no no no please." Joel was in tears. She couldn't leave him. She kept him going. "Please don't do this to me, please God. Please."

"No."

Darkness surrounded Joel again.

* * *

**[AN] I feel like an evil bastard for putting Joel through this. I hope you enjoy.**


	3. Chapter 2: The Journey Begins

**[AN] First of all, I want to say thanks for bringing this series to over one thousand views! It means a lot to me.**

**Also, if anyone knows where I can find a transcript for The Last of Us's dialogue, that would be very helpful. sine first few chapters will mostly be taken from scenes directly in game. **

**Now, enjoy the story.**

* * *

Joel woke up to darkness and the sound of rain.

"You mumble in your sleep." He heard the little girl who was responsible for his latest nightmare. He turned his head towards her and saw her looking out the window.

"I hate bad dreams."

Joel sat up on the couch. "Yeah, me too." For whatever reason, he couldn't bring himself to be upset with her. Ellie didn't know how much her comment had hurt him.

He got up and walked behind the chair she was sitting in. She was staring out the window, past the wall of the quarantine zone.

"You know, I've never been this close." She turned her head to face Joel. She turned back and pointed past the wall. "To the outside."

Joel walked over to the lamp and turned it on. "Look how dark it is." Ellie said. "Can't be any worse out there."

_Oh it most defiantly can._ Joel thought to himself, but he said nothing. He heard Ellie get up from the chair and take a step closer to him. "Can it?"

Joel's curiosity got the better of him. "What on earth do the Fireflies want with you?"

"Hey." Tess walked inside. "Sorry it took so long. Soldiers fuckin' everywhere."

"How's Marlene?" Ellie asked.

Tess looked over to their cargo, "She'll make it."

Tess and Joel talked for a bit, then they set off.

* * *

"Holy shit... I'm actually outside"

_Don't sound so excited kid, ain't nothing good out here_ Joel thought to himself.

"Up this way." Joel said as he walked through an empty truck.

Joel looked to his right when he got out of the truck. A second later, the left side of his head was in pain. He fell to the ground.

_Fuck me_. Joel thought to himself. They haven't been outside the zone for a minute, and they were already caught.

"Don't do anything stupid." Said a female voice, presumably belonging to the soldier who had knocked Joel to the ground.

"Move." Said another soldier.

"Turn around, on your knees." Joel got to his knees, and saw Tess and Ellie on either side of him do the same thing.

"You scan 'em. I'll call it in."

"Alright. Put your hands on your head." The other soldier walked up behind Tess and placed the scanner next to her neck.

"This is Ramirez at Sector Twelve. Requesting pickup for three stragglers, over." A brief pause, "Understood."

"Look the other way. We can make this worth your while." Tess said as she was being scanned,

"Shut up." Joel heard the scan result come in, and the soldier moved to Joel.

"Getting tired of this shit. What's the ETA?" The soldier said as he scanned finished scanning Joel and moved to Ellie.

"Couple a minutes."

"Oh man. Oh man." Ellie said _What's she goin' on about?_ Joel wondered.

"Sorry!" Joel looked over at Ellie, who was grappling with the soldeir; with her switch blade - now covered in blood- in her hand, reaching for the soldier's pistol. The soldier knocked her down and aimed right at her. Joel got up and tackled him just before he fired, causing his shot to miss.

He heard some gunshots behind him, presumably Tess taking out the first soldier. Joel forced the pistol next to the soldiers head, and pulled the trigger. He got up.

_Maybe this girl won't be a liability_. Joel thought to himself. He had to admit, she had to either be very brave, or very stupid. She didn't look stupid to him.

"Oh... Oh Fuck." He heard the girl say as she backed up against a box. "I thought we were just going to hold them up or something." Joel couldn't help but be amused. _You have so much to learn, little girl._

"Oh shit." Tess said. Joel looked at her, "Look." She tossed him the scanner, and he checked the reading.

POSITIVE

"Jesus Christ."

_What the hell?_ He thought. "Marlene set us up? Why the hell are we smuggling an infected girl?" He looked over towards Ellie.

"I'm not infected." Ellie said, clearly somewhat panicked.

"No? So was this lying?" He tossed the scanner next to the little girl, who he figured would be dead in less than a minute.

"I can explain."

"You better explain fast." Tess moved towards her, pistol in hand.

"Look at this." She pulled up her right sleeve, showing a bite mark with the telltale signs of infection surrounding it.

"I don't care how you got infected." _So that's why you wear long sleeves in the middle of summer._ He thought in the back of his head.

"It's three weeks old!"

"No. Everyone turns within two days. So you stop bullshiting."

"It's three weeks. I swear!" She paused for a second, clearly trying to think of something to save her life. "Why would she set you up?"

Joel looked at Tess, who lowered her pistol away from Ellie. That made him think for a second, but only for a second. "I ain't buying it." He said as he turned around. He had never heard of someone being immune to this thing. The fucking world health organization had said there wasn't any way they could predict why someone would be immune, and that was 20 years ago, when the world hadn't gone to complete shit yet.

"Oh shit." He saw the truck that had been sent to pick them up. "Tess, run! RUN!"

"Go. Go! Move!" He heard two sets of footsteps run behind him.

* * *

**[Roughly 10 minutes later]**

"Alright, they're gone." Joel looked over at Ellie, who was sitting on a rock. He was surprised that she managed to keep up and didn't get them caught. _At least she might not be a total liability._ He told himself, emphasizing total.

"Look- what was the plan? Let's say that we deliver you to the Fireflies, what then?"

"Marlene- She said that they have their own little quarantine zone. With doctors there; still trying to find a cure."

"Yeah, we've heard that before, huh, Tess?" He said. In their propaganda, the fireflies always emphasized how they hadn't given up on turning back the clock and brining things back to the old days. Not that anybody really took that seriously anymore.

Ellie looked up at him and sighed. "And that... Whatever happened to me is the key to finding a vaccine."

Joel looked up at the dark sky. "Oh, Jesus." _Why am I not surprised_.

"It's what she said."

Joel turned around to face her, "Oh, I'm sure she did." He said. That sounded like Marlene alright.

He was facing the other way when he heard Ellie say, "Hey, fuck you man. I didn't ask for this!" while standing up.

"Me neither. Tess, what the hell are we doing here?"

"What if it's true?"

"I can't believe-"

Tess cut him off, "What if Joel? I mean, we've come this far, lets just finish it."

Joel was getting angry at this point. "Do I need to remind you what is out there?" He asked.

"I get it." Tess was frustrated with him now. She walked past him. Ellie followed her, taking a moment to look at Joel with a near unreadable expression on her face. Most likely satisfaction.

He sighed. They might as well get this over with.

* * *

**[Several hours later]**

"Now watch your step as you're going up 'cause its going to be a little- "

"Pssh."

Joel was silent as she got up onto the plank and walked to the other building. He saw Ellie staring at the golden dome of the Capital Building.

"Well, is that everything you hoped for?" He looks over at her, unsure why he asked the question.

She faced him, "Jury's still out." She turned back. "But, man... You can't deny that view."

She was right. It would have made a nice post card, minus the ruined buildings, overgrown foliage, and the inability to make postcards nowadays. He crossed his arms.

Tess walked past him, "C'mon, this way."

He looked down at his watch. So much pain, loss, and regret welled up inside him. _It should have been me, 20 years ago. I'm so sorry Sarah._

_I haven't broken my promise yet. I'm still here. I'm have my life. I have Tess, kinda._

_I hope you forgive me for all the shit I've done throughout these 20 years. _

_Forgive me._

"Hey! Pick it up." Tess snapped him out of his thoughts. He walked towards the latter that went down to the building below them.

"Look, we're almost done. Stay focused." She said, clearly in a hurry.

"Yes ,ma'am." He said sarcastically, and he went down the ladder after Tess.


	4. Chapter 3: Rage

**[AN] I'd like to thank whoever wrote/ made/ played the main theme from 28 days later, "In the house, in a heartbeat". I was listening to it when I got a terrible idea. By terrible, I mean brilliant, but I feel like a complete asshole. You'll see what I mean.**

* * *

**" Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets." -Selena, 28 Days L****ater**

* * *

**[About a hour later]**

"I'm glad Marlene hired you guys." Ellie said as they waded through the algae green water in front of the capital building

"What do you mean?" Tess asked.

"I know you guys are getting payed for this but - I'm trying to say thanks."

"Yeah, sure thing."

Joel opened the door to the capital building, and was filled with disappointment, but not surprise.

"No, no, no." Tess ran to the body of one of the fireflies who was on the floor.

"What happens now?" Ellie asked.

Joel walked over to Tess, who was frantically searching the corpse, "What are you doing Tess?"

"Maybe they ah, had a map or something to tell us where they were going." _What is she so frenzied about?_

"How far we gonna take this?" Joel was sick of this job. He agreed with what Tess said on the way here ; he would like to lay low for a while, and he just wanted to get back to the Boston QZ. Back at home with Tess.

"As far as it needs to go!" She stopped and looked up at Ellie, "Where was this lab of theirs?"

"Oh, she never said. Only mentioned it was someplace out west."

_Too bad, I'm done with this shit._ Joel was exhausted, and he just wanted this to end. "What are we doing here? This is not us."

"What do you know about us? About me?"

"I know that you are smarter than this." Joel pointed to the corpse on the ground.

"Really? Guess what, we're shitty people Joel, its been that way for a long time."

"No, we are survivors!" _Do I look like a confessor to you? Lets get out of here_, he thought to himself. He had never seen Tess like this in all the years he knew her.

"This is our chance-"

"It is over Tess! Now we tried. Let's just go home."

"I'm not... I'm not going anywhere. This is my last stop."

Joel could tell something was wrong, and was starting to get worried. Was she going suicidal? He had seen it happen before, some people just broke. "What?"

She turned away from him and looked at the floor. "Our luck had to run out sooner or later."

Joel reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, "What are you going on about?"

"No don't!... Don't touch me." She turned around and moved his hand off her.

"Holy shit." Ellie joined their conversation. "She's infected."

Joel looked at the girl, and looked back at Tess. She was miserable.

"Joel..." She said in a tone of voice he had never heard from her. So different from the confidence she always showed. So meek, now.

"Let me see it."

"I didn't mean for this-"

"Show it to me."

She jerked her blouse away from the bite mark on her right shoulder.

"Oh Christ." Joel was taken aback by how severe the infection looked.

Tess's face was a mix between anger and misery. "Oops, right?", she ask bitterly.

She walked over to Ellie. "Give me your arm." Ellie moved her right arm forward, and Tess grabbed it and rolled up her sleeve, revealing her bite mark.

"This was three weeks." She pointed at the bite as she dragged Ellie forward by her arm. "I was bitten an hour ago, and it's already worse. This is fucking real Joel." She let go of her arm. Ellie backed away and quickly covered up her arm.

"You've got to get this girl to Tommy's. He used to run with this crew, he'll know where to go."

"No, no, no, that was your crusade. I am not doin' that."

"Yes you are!" Tess was all but tearing up, in spite of how frustrated she was with Joel. "Look, there's enough here that you have to feel some sort of obligation to me, so you get her to Tommy's. So you get her to Tommy's."

His mind flashed back to all the times they had shared together. In of being a smuggler, she had managed to bring him out of his shell. She was the only person, excluding Tommy, that he had given a damn about since Sarah. She had given him a sense of purpose, even if it was as a smuggler. They had shared a bed at times, but calling themselves romantically attached would be a stretch.

_Dammit Tess. You had to get yourself killed, didn't ya_. He thought, enraged at himself more than anyone else.

"Shit." Tess said, interrupting his thoughts. He heard a truck pull up near the Capitol building. She ran to the door, and turned around.

"They're here."

"Dammit."

"I can buy you some time, but you have to run." She had her pistol in her hand.

Ellie spoke first, "What? You want us to just leave you here?"

"Yes."

"There is no way that-"

"I will not turn into one of those things!" She walked right up to Joel and stared straight into his eyes.

"Come on. Make this easy for me." She was all but crying at this point.

"I can fight-"

"No, just go!" She pushed him back with all her strength.

"Just fucking go."

He looked at Tess for a second, then said. "Ellie-"

"I'm sorry. I didn't- I didn't mean for this."

"Get a move on."

They walked through the doors on the other end of room. Around 20 seconds later, he heard gunshots, and Tess cried out in pain. He felt as though another piece of his soul had been ripped out of him. Just like with everyone he gave a damn about: all they did was fill his life with darkness in the end.

* * *

**[The next day, early morning before sunrise.]**

Joel had gotten no sleep. He was enraged. At himself, at Tess. _You had to fuckin die on me. Just like everyone else I give a shit about, you die!_

He looked over at Ellie, who was sleeping on the ground on the other side of their campfire, which was mostly dying embers now.

_"I'm sorry. I didn't- I didn't mean for this." _He heard Ellie's voice in his head.

_If it wasn't for that little shit, Tess wouldn't be dead. She got to be immune, while Tess had to die to save her sorry ass!_ A blinding rage filled Joel. The edge of his vision darkened. He reached for the pistol he had on him, and removed the the magazine. _Plenty of bullets. Don't need to worry about saving ammo right now._ He thought.

He got up and walked next to the girl who had thrown his world back into darkness. He knelt down next to her, and put the barrel of the gun inches away from her head.

_This is for Tess you piece of shit_! He whispered to himself.

_Would Tess want this?_

Joel jumped up and turned around, his eyes widened.

"Sarah?" He knew what he heard. It was impossible, but their was no mistaking it. That was his daughter's voice.

_That can't be her, you know it_! Every rational part of his brain told him.

He fell to his knees facing away from the red headed girl.

_Fuck me. As much as I want to, Tess wouldn't want this._ He thought to himself, upset with Tess._ Dammit, Tess. Why? Why did you get a conscious at a time when I was fucking obligated to do what you say?_

The sun was peaking over the horizon behind him, bringing the light of day with it. A ray of sunlight shone directly on to Ellie's eyes, causing her to get up. She was a light sleeper.

Ellie yawned. " 'Morning Joel." She said. Looking over to where she last saw Joel. He heard her turn over to face where he was now.

"You... doing okay?" She asked carefully.

"I'm fine." He said gruffly, clearly showing that he was everything but. He went and grabbed his back back. "We're leavin' now. We got a long way ahead of us. We should reach Bill's in two days, but we have to get movin' now." He started walking, and heard Ellie get up, grab her pack, and follow behind him.


	5. Chapter 4: A New Day

**[AN] This picks up right where the last chapter ended.**

* * *

Joel saw Ellie run up next to him. "So, who's this friend of yours, exactly?"

"His name's Bill."

"And, why does he owe you some favors?" Ellie asked with more enthusiasm than anyone should have at this hour of the morning.

"Doesn't matter." Joel replied, not wanting to talk to the girl he had almost killed less than a minute ago.

They walked on the road in silence for the next couple of minutes. Ellie looked up at Joel, "You sleep well last night?" Joel was silent. _I didn't._ He thought to himself.

They continued walking.

A couple of minutes later, he walked past an abandoned store front. "It's worth checking, I guess." he thought to himself.

He walked towards the entrance of the store. "You wait here." He told Ellie.

"Shouldn't I come in with you?"

"Do whatever you want." Joel replied, walking into the store.

The sun was up now, and light began to fill the room. He walked behind the counter, looking for anything he could use. _Nothing, no surprise there. _He thought. This place had obviously been looted ages ago.

As he walked out of the store, he saw Ellie sitting down next to the window with a lighter in her hand. The flame was on, and her eyes where fixed on it; with the fire making her green eyes seem to be made of emeralds, beautifully reflecting the dancing flame.

"My lighter's almost out." Joel thought.

"Give it to me." He walked up to Ellie.

"Why?" Ellie asked.

" 'Cause the last thing I need is for you to be playing with fire-

"Seriously Joel?"

- and mine's almost out." He reached out his hand.

* * *

**[2009, early February, around 10:00 PM]**

Joel sniffed _Is that smoke?_ He thought to himself. He walked downstairs, and then ran into the kitchen.

"Sarah!" He said, reaching for a glass and turning on the faucet. Sarah had a box of matches in one hand. There was a small, crumpled up piece of paper on the counter, with a burning match on top. Sarah was watching the flames, the fire making her light blue-grey eyes glow.

Joel dumped the glass, now filled with water, on top of the paper. He hugged Sarah, relieved he had come downstairs when he did.

"Sarah, what where you doing? What did I tell you about touching the matches?" He asked.

"I'm sorry dad, I'm sorry." Sarah was crying at this point.

"I know Sarah. But if I haven't come downstairs, the fire could have spread, and I couldn't have stopped it. Do you know what I mean."

"Yes daddy. I'm sorry."

"Promise me you won't touch these again, ok?"

"I promise daddy. It won't happen again." Sarah managed to get out between tears.

Joel was more relieved than anything, _If I haven't gotten down here when I did..._ He didn't want to think what could have happened.

"Okay, I forgive you. Common, it's past your bedtime." He said as he gently took the match box out of her hands _I'm putting this in a place where I know she can't get to them._ He thought. He should have been more careful, he knew Sarah was a curious little girl.

"Common now. Up to bed." He said, as he walked up the stairs behind his baby girl.

* * *

Ellie rolled her eyes, "Fine, take it." She held the lighter, now turned off, up to Joel, who grabbed it out of her hand.

"Okay, its yours. What the fuck would I do with it other than manage to kill you in your sleep?" She said with sarcasm dripping from her voice.

_Well, if you knew I almost did just that, then I'm sure you would find a way._ He thought to himself. He sighed, and walked out of the door, Ellie tagging along behind him.

They walked for a couple of minutes when he heard Ellie stop walking.

"What's this?" She asked. Joel turned around and saw a baseball in her hand.

"You don't know what a baseball is?" He asked.

"I've heard of it, I've just never seen one is all." Ellie said. Ellie threw the baseball forward. _That was a surprisingly good throw._ Joel thought to himself.

The baseball landed on the hood of a long abandoned car. As soon as it hit, he heard the sound of a group of clickers up ahead.

"Shit. Ellie, lets go this way." He said, pointing back towards a road that they had just passed up

"Good idea." She said, as they walked back.

"Way to attract the clickers. Off to a great start." Joel said sarcastically.

"They were already nearby. I just showed you where they are. You should be thanking me, asshole." Ellie said.

_She's right. But I'll be damned if I give her that satisfaction_. Joel didn't respond.

They kept on walking.

"So, you haven't told me how exactly your mother knew the fireflies." Joel asked.

"She and Marlene were both original members. My dad was too, actually."

"They were there all the way back in 2014, in Boise when the fighting started?" Joel was a little impressed by this. It's not every day you meet the kid of one of those people. Lots of the fireflies back then weren't alive any more. Revolution was a high-risk occupation.

"Actually, back in 2013. I'd rather not talk about it any more though." Ellie replied.

"Okay then." He had lost enough people he cared about to know that it still hurt. He wasn't going to press the issue. It's not like he gained any knowledge out of it.

"So, what happened to your parents?" Ellie asked.

"Lost contact with 'em during the outbreak. They're probably dead now."

"Oh."

Joel sighed softly. "_Dammit kid. You aren't quite as bad as I thought you would be_. He was actually feeling a bit of guilt for almost killing Ellie in her sleep. _Haven't felt that- more accurately, haven't really cared about that in a long time._

Ellie asked another question, but Joel didn't respond. They were mostly silent for the rest of the day.

* * *

**[That Evening]**

"Lets get inside, its getting late." Joel said.

"Okay." Ellie responded. Joel heard her footsteps behind him as he walked over to the house.

Walked inside. "No spores, no infected. That's a relief." He called to Ellie, "Come inside, it's safe."

Ellie walked inside and sat down on the sofa in the living room. Joel saw her rifling through her backpack.

"I'll go search the house for supplies, be right back down." Joel walked upstairs, searched, and found nothing. As he walked back down the stairs, he saw that Ellie had a deck of cards out.

"You know how to play Texas Hold 'em?" Joel asked. He hadn't played anyone in years other than Tess, who was too awful to count.

"Yeah. I'm not too bad. Want to play a couple of rounds while we still have light?"

"Why the hell not. Haven't played in ages." Joel said. He wasn't too tired, much to his own surprise.

They played a couple of rounds, using empty bullet casings as chips. To Joel's surprise, Ellie won most of the time.

After an hour, the sun was down, and they couldn't play anymore. "Well, I'm done having my ass kicked by a little girl. There's a room up stairs. You take that while I sleep down here on the couch."

"Sounds like a plan. 'Night Joel." She was halfway up the stairs when she said. "Lets do this again. Kicking your ass is fun."

"Beginner's luck."

"Whatever lets you sleep at night." Ellie said as she jogged up the stairs.

Joel was asleep within seconds.

* * *

**[Next morning]**

"Wake up Joel." Joel opened his eyes. And saw a flame inches away from his face. Ellie's face was above the lighter that she held in her hand.

Joel grabbed the lighter from her. "How the hell did you get this?" It was the lighter that he had taken from Ellie yesterday.

"I pick pocketed you while you were sleeping." Ellie said, clearly amused by all of this.

"Great. That's reassuring." He said sarcastically. He noticed that the sun was already up. "What time is it?" He asked.

"Sun's been up for a couple of hours. I figured you would want us to get moving." Ellie said.

"Well, thanks for getting me up. Lets go." Joel and Ellie walked out the door.


	6. Chapter 5: Bill's Town

**AN: sorry this chapter took so long, copying dialog from LP's is time consuming and boring, but necessary. **

**Also, I'm putting "Look for the Light" on a temporary hiatus. I'm just having a lack of inspiration from it, and I enjoy writing Joel and Ellie fluff (and anti-fluff) much more. **

**The next chapter will be uploaded sometime tomorrow unless I come down with the plague.**

**Now I'll shut up and let you enjoy the story.**

* * *

"Now there we go." Joel said as he pointed to the water tower in the distance. He was walking on the cracked road with Ellie behind him. He looked over the guard rail, down towards the wooded area next to the road.

"Yeah, it'll be faster to go through here." He said as he vaulted over the rail. Ellie followed after him.

"Man." Ellie said.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just... I've never seen anything like this, that's all."

"You mean the woods?"

"Yeah. Never walked through the woods. It's kinda cool."

_This is a lame excuse for 'woods'_ Joel thought to himself. _But, this place does look kind of nice. _The setting sun, the lack of any nose other than their footsteps and small animals made him relax. _This never gets old_. He thought to himself. In spite of the shit humans where going through, trees still grew, grass was still green, and nature didn't give a fuck.

"Why don't you just take me back to Marlene?"

_Because Tess decided to get a conscious at the worst possible time_. "If she was up to the task, why'd she drop you off on us?"

"Well, maybe she's better now."

Joel sighed, "Kid, I don't want to upset you, but your friend's chances of survival weren't to high to begin with."

"She's a lot tougher than you think." She said as she walked through a small puddle.

"It don't matter. 'Cause I doubt I could get either one of us back into the city in one piece. Trust me, I wish there was some other option."

Joel walked up the small hill that lead into the town. He was treated by an ivy covered chain link fence that was locked.

"Well shit." Joel said as he tried to break the chain around the fence gate.

"Should we climb it?"

"No, wire on top of it." He pointed to the barbed wire on top of the fence. "We gotta find a way to go around."

"Whoa, look!" Ellie said.

Joel turned around, not sure what to expect. Ellie was standing in a patch of tall grass surrounded by fireflies, looking like she had just been given a puppy.

"Fireflies. I mean, real fireflies."

"Yeah, I see that."

After a moment of awkward science, Ellie spoke, "Sorry, I... I lost myself for a second." Joel didn't respond.

* * *

"That you Bill?" Joel asked himself aloud, standing on the roof of an abandoned building, looking at the smoke coming from the middle of the town.

"Where do you usually meet him?" Ellie asked while walking across the plank he had just placed to get on top of this building and over the fence.

"Huh?" Joel asked, not expecting the question. "Different places."

"You've never been here have you?"

_Smart girl._ Joel jumped off the roof, landing on the ground a few feet below. "I know this is where he lives, but... no, I ain't never been here, personally."

"And that smoke, you think that's him?"

"Sure as hell better be." Joel said, walking past a rusty old van.

"Well, lets go check it out then."

"Down here." Joel said, walking down a small hill towards a broken fence "How many fences you got around this place Bill?" He asked himself.

"Watch your step, its a good drop." Joel dropped past the fence, on to the concrete 3 feet below. They were in the town itself now.

* * *

Joel jumped in shock. _What the hell was tha-..._ He looked at Ellie, who was breathing strangely.

"You all right?" He asked, only slightly worried and mostly annoyed. He had just killed two clickers, and was on edge.

"I'm trying to learn how to whistle."

_Are you kidding me_? "You don't know how to whistle?"

"Does it sound like I know how to whistle?" _Nope_.

Joel walked out of the abandoned building, now liberated of useful materials, and down towards a yet another chain link fence. Joel tried the door, and noticed the metal pipe. "Oh shit. It's jammed from the other side."

"Here- boost me up." Ellie said, along up to the fence.

"No, that's not such a good idea." There were bound to be some infected on the other side.

"Well, I can't boost you up. How else are we going to open it?"

She was right. "Alright." He put his hands out, "Gimme your foot." He said. She put her foot onto his hands, and stood up. He lifted her up, and she gabbed the top of the fence. "Now just open it, nothing else." He said firmly. "Sure thing." She climbed down on the other side.

"Ah, lets see." She grabbed the metal pipe and pulled it out.

"Okay." She said, opening the door. "Ta-da" she lifted her arms, as if showing off the glory of the long abandoned and overgrown town, becoming him to walk through the recently opened fence gate.

"Good job." Joel said.

"Thank you." She said, sounding far too satisfied for Joel.

* * *

"Look at that." Ellie said in awe.

"What's she off to now?" Joel thought to himself. There was only a scrap of a hand towel and a bit of rubbing alcohol in here. What could possibly be of interest to this borderline ADD teenager?

Ellie was standing in front of an arcade game. _Kids never change_. He thought to himself.

"What, you play this before?"

"Nah. But I had a friend who knew everything about this game." Joel looked at the arcade and saw the title of the game, 'The Turning'.

"Apparently, there's this character called Angel Knives, who'd... what was it? She'd punch a hole through you're stomach before kicking your head off." Joel had seen enough heads actually get blown off in the past 20 years, he didn't want to think about it any more.

"Well, I never was much a big fan of these things."

"I wish I could play it." Ellie said, messing with the controls.

Joel walked outside onto the cracked, worn street. He was searching for supplies when he heard Ellie say, " 'Mandatory Evacuation'. Evacuate to where?"

Joel saw her starring at one of the evacuation notices on the street, "Where you think? Quarantine Zone. See, some places got a heads up before the infection showed up. Most didn't."

"Man, must be hard... leaving all your stuff behind like that."

"That ain't the hard part." Joel felt his right hand slide over his broken watch.

* * *

**[September 27th, around 1:55 AM]**

"Please, please, don't do this. Please God." Joel was holding Sarah's limp body to his chest, sobbing. He could see less than two feet in front of himself, not that he cared.

"Take me instead. Please don't do this. Please God." He was in unbearable agony right now. He was utterly broken.

"Oh shit... Joel, common!" Joel heard, but didn't comprehend his younger brothers voice. The same was true for the pack of around 5 infected closing in on them.

"I'm sorry Joel, you have to leave her! Common!" Joel felt Tommy pull the back of his shirt, forcing him to stand. He dropped Sarah's lifeless body to the ground.

"Run!" Tommy yanked Joel's arm, pulling him away from his lost daughter as he fired the revolver. He took out 3 of the infected before he heard the revolver 'click'.

"Run, Joel!" Tommy said, dragging his miserable older brother by the arm, attempting to making sure he never got to see what the two remaining infected where doing to his baby girl's lifeless body.

Joel turned around for a split second, but it was more than enough to give him nightmares for the rest of his life.

He kept on running.

* * *

"Whoa, look at this place." Ellie said as she walked into the vinyl store, which was almost entirely untouched by looters.

"Man, this is kinda sad." Ellie said. Joel was picking up a revolver from behind the counter.

"What is?"

"All this music that's just sitting here. No one's around to listen to it. I don't know, just doesn't seem right."

Joel walked out the door, noticing Ellie looking through the vinyl collections. Ellie followed him.

He walked towards the ally right outside the store, and heard the sound of a clicker. It rounded the corner, and was shredded by the explosive attached to the trip wire it had just activated.

"Jesus!"

"Whoa, Nelly. Wha- What the hell was that?"

"That... would be one of Bill's traps."

"Your friend a bit paranoid maybe?"

"Now that's putting it lightly." Joel continued, "Now listen. Bill ain't exactly the most... stable of individuals. So when we get there, you let me do the talkin'. You understand?"

"I understand." She said with a sigh in her voice.

"We gotta be clear on this. He... He don't take to kindly to strangers."

"Alright."

"Bill's a good guy, he just definitely needs some time warming up to you, that's all."

* * *

"Just stay close." Joel said to Ellie as he walked into the back entrance of a building.

"Ellie, come on, just-" Joel opened the door, and heard something fall over. He saw a refrigerator hanging from the ceiling by a rope. It started to fall down.

Joel looked down and saw a rope around his left ankle. "Oh shit!" He yelled as the fridge fell down, lifting him up into the air.

"Joel!" Ellie called out, running forwards.

"Here, I got you." Ellie said, running forward to stop him from swinging around.

"Goddammit Bill."

Ellie placed her hands against his chest, slowly stopping him from swinging.

"What just happened?"

"Another one of Bill's stupid traps! He looked around the room, "there- that fridge. It looks like that's the counterweight.

"Okay." She climbed up on top of the fridge, pulled out her switchblade, and started cutting the rope.

"Cut that rope and it'll bring me down."

"On it!"

Joel heard screams, and looked towards the chain link fence about 20 feet away. He saw infected climbing over it.

"Ellie, how's it looking?" He said as he shot a runner in the face with his revolver.

"I'm going as fast as I can!" She said.

"This is going to be bad." Joel thought to himself, seeing two more runners charge him.

* * *

Joel fell onto his back as the rope was cut.

"Joel, watch out!" Ellie called to him. Joel turned around and was greeted by a runner tackling him. He struggled with it, trying to push it off him, when a machete implanted itself right in the runner's face. He pushed the runner away from himself, and saw the blade cut its head off.

"Get off your ass and on your feet!" A man in a gas mask reached his hand down to pull him up as he shoved the dead runner off himself.

_Great timing Bill _he thought to himself as he pulled himself up and followed Bill.

* * *

"Man... that was close." Ellie said, catching her breath. They where inside an old bar that Bill was using as either a safe house or a home.

Joel was leaning against the wall catching his breath.

"Uh... thanks for the heroics and all." Ellie said, sounding genuinely thankful.

"Uh, Ellie." She said, introducing herself.

"Hey, what are you- Joel?"

Joel turned around and saw Ellie being handcuffed to a metal pipe on the wall.

"Bill!"

"What are you doing?" Ellie said again.

"Bill!" Joel tried to get his 'friend' to stop.

Bill pulled out a pistol and pointed it at Joel's face. "Turn around and get on your knees!"

"Let me go!" Ellie was trying to dislodge the pipe from the wall.

"Just calm down a second. "Turn around and get on your knees!"

"Alright!" Joel turned around and was knocked down by Bill.

"Just take it easy." Joel said, now on his knees with his hands up.

"You got any bites?" Bill said as he searched Joel

"No."

"Anything sprouting?"

"No, goddammit I'm clean!"

Bill stopped searching him. _If he rolls up Ellie's sleeve, were fucked._ He thought to himself. "Well, if I see so much as a twitch." Joel heard the pipe come loose, and turned around in time to see Ellie club Bill with it across his arm. He got up and prevented her from taking a second swing.

"Stop!" He needed Bill intact.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Bill cried out.

Joel took the pipe out of Ellie's handcuff,and pointed it at Bill, "Are you done?"

"Am I done? You come into my house, you set off all my traps, yo damn near break my shooting arm!" He looked to Ellie, "Who the fuck is this punk and what's she doing here?"

He was about to reply when Ellie walked towards Bill and said, "I am none of your goddamn business, and we're here because you owe Joel some favors, and you can start by taking these off!" She shoved her right hand, still attached to the handcuff, in right in front of Bill.

"I owe Joel some favors, is this some kind of joke?"

Joel put his hand on Ellie's shoulder, gently pushing her back. He dropped the pipe and said, "I'll cut to the chase. I need a car."

"Well, it is a joke. Joel needs a car." Bill said as he sharpened his blade. "Well, if I had one that works, which I sure as hell don't, what makes you think I'd just give it to you? Huh? Yeah, sure Joel, go ahead, take my car. Take all my food too while your at it."

"By the looks of it you could loose some of that food." Ellie said.

Bill pointed his blade at Ellie, "You listen to me you little shit-"

"No, fuck you. You handcuffed me-"

Joel got between her and Bill, put his hands on her shoulders, and walked her back. "I need you to shut up." He said firmly. "Alright?"

He walked back up towards Bill. "Whatever favors you think I owe ya, it ain't worth that much."

"Actually, Bill, they are."

Bill sighed. "Well, it don't matter, 'cause I don't have a car that works."

"But there is one in this town."

"Parts. There are parts in this town."

"Meaning that you could fix one up."

Bill paused for a second, trying to make up his mind. "Alright." He swiped some junk off a map of the town that was on the bar.

"If I'm going to do this, there's some gear I'm going to need."

"Alright."

Bill pointed to the map, "It's on the other side of town. Now you help me to gather it, and maybe, I can put something together that runs. But after this, I owe you nothin'." He placed the keys to the handcuffs on the bar. Joel grabbed them and saw Ellie standing next to him.

"That's fine. Couple days from now, we'll probably be dead anyways." He said as he took the hand cuffs off Ellie.

"Good. Follow me. Whole goddamn town's booby trapped, best stay right on my ass."

"Can't miss it." Ellie said.

Joel turned around. "Knock it off." He said firmly.


	7. Chapter 6: Escape

**[AN] The next chapter almost certainly won't be out tomorrow, but it should be out the day after that.**

* * *

"Can't believe you agreed with this bullshit, Bill. What you shoulda done is left them back there."

_Fuck you too Bill._ Joel thought to himself as he walked up the stairs.

"You weren't kidding about him." Ellie said.

"Yeah, he's one of a kind."

"So, what kind of trouble are you in?" Where the hell's Tess?"

"It's a job. A simple drop off." Joel said, really hoping Bill wouldn't bring up Tess. Her loss was still far too fresh in his mind.

"What are you delivering?" Bill chuckled, "That little brat?"

"Haha. Fuck you too." Ellie replied sarcastically.

Bill laughed. "Y'know, I hope you know what you're doin'."

"Are you kidding me with this guy?"

"So, where we goin', Bill?"

"My other safe house. It's more of an armory." _Because having all your shit in one location would be to much to ask from you. _Joel thought as he picked up some useful looking scrap metal from the floor.

"Wait, I thought we were gonna fix up a car?" Ellie asked, confused.

"We?" Bill laughed, "you know how to fix a-"

"Bill, just..."

"Like I said, what I need is on the other side of town. Now, that side I don't ever go to because its filled with infected. So we're gonna need more guns."

Joel and Ellie followed Bill down the steps. Joel heard a runner and said, "Shhh. There's one inside."

"Oh, I've been meaning to take care of that. Relax, its nothing." Joel walked into the next room, and saw a runner caught in one of Bill's traps.

"So, you didn't answer my question about Tess. I mean, I thought the two of you were inseparable." Bill unknowingly dumped salt on Joel's recent wound.

"She's busy." Joel said.

"Yeah, sure, busy." Bill chuckled. "Sounds to me-" Bill said as he took one swing at the runner's neck with his blade, "like there might be trouble in paradise." He finished on the second swing, cutting the infected's head off.

"Aw gross."

"Yeah, something like that." Joel said, sadly.

"Alright, here we go." Bill said as he opened the door to the street outside.

"So... why don't you fix one of these cars?" Ellie asked, noticing the abandoned, rusty cars on the street.

"Oh my God, you're a genius. I mean, the whole time, why on earth hadn't I thought of fixin' one of _these_ cars." Bill said sarcastically

"Okay, don't be a dick." Ellie retorted.

"Their tires are rotted and their batteries are dead."

"Are you done?"

Bill continued, "Can't even begin to think what the inside of the engine blocks look like. Only ones making new car batteries are the military."

Joel saw some runners climbing up over some overturned cars.

"Oh shit."

"Infected!" Ellie called out, getting Bill's attention.

* * *

Joel smashed open the skull of the last clicker with a metal pipe.

"Alright... You gotta check the barricades again. You neglect the simple shit, and now your paying for it." Bill mumbled to himself. "You know what that means... taking all the supplies from the warehouse and lugging them to the east fence again..."

"Okay, well, now he's talking to himself." Ellie said to Joel.

"Yeah." Joel said to Ellie. "Bill?", he asked, trying to get Bill out of his own thoughts.

"Joel? This way." He walked up a set of stairs on the other side of the street.

"You picked a hell of a place to hole up didn't you?" He asked Bill as they walked up the steps towards what seemed to be a church.

"You know, as bad as those things are, at least they're predictable. It's the normal people that scare me. You of all people should understand that."

"What does that mean?" Ellie asked.

"Nothing." Joel said unconvincingly.

"So, which way?" Joel asked when he reached the top of the steps.

"We're here. It's in the cellar." Bill said.

Joel walked up to the doors to the basement and opened them.

"You don't touch anything, and you close the door." Bill said as he walked down the stairs, pointing at Ellie and Joel respectively.

Bill turned on a kerosene lamp. "Lets gear up." Joel went to follow Bill, then heard the little girl's footsteps next to him.

"Uh-uh." Joel said, grabbing Ellie's arm.

"What? I need a gun."

"No you don't." Joel said condescendingly.

"Joel, I can handle myself."

"No." _If by some freak chance you found out I almost killed you, I don't trust you not to turn a gun on me. Plus, no way in hell Bill would allow it._

"Just stay here." Joel told Ellie firmly.

"Fine. I'll just wait around for you two to get me killed."

Joel walked over to bill who was pulling a shotgun out of a box."

"Well, this goes on record as the worst fucking job you've ever taken."

"It's up there."

"How in the hell's Tess okay with this suicide mission?"

"It's actually her idea." Joel said honestly.

"Really? Well then the broad's not as smart as I thought she was. But, fuck her." Bill picked up a bucket of shotgun shells. "Seriously, you got to take that kid back to where ya found her."

"Bill, I can't just take her back."

"Then send her packing and let her find her own way." "I would have done that if it weren't for Tess."

"Look, let me tell you a story. Once upon a time, I had somebody that I cared about. It was a... partner. Somebody I had to look after." Bill finished angrily as he pumped the shotgun. "And in this world, that sort of shit is good for one thing. Gettin' ya killed. So you know what I did? I wisened the fuck up. I realized its gotta be just me."

"Bill... It ain't like that... It's." _An obligation I have to Tess. _He thought to himself.

"Bullshit. It is just like tha-" Bill stopped talking.

"Hey! What did I say to you when we walked down the steps? What did I say?" Joel saw Ellie touching one of Bills stacks of old magazines.

"I'm just fixing your stupid pile."

"Don't touch!"

Ellie rolled her eyes and gave Bill the middle finger.

"Goddammit. You keep babysitting long enough, and eventually its going to blow up in your face."

_So what if it does. It's not like I have much left anyways._

Joel sighed. "Bill. Can we please just get on with it?"

"Here." Bill tossed him a loaded shotgun. "Lets get on with it."

* * *

**[Roughly an hour later]**

"You gonna be ok with this?" Joel asked Ellie through the open window of the pickup truck.

"Yeah, not a problem."

Joel paused for a moment. "You're doin' a good job. I figured you should know that."

"I won't let you down with this." She said, somewhat confidently.

"Alright." Joel nodded and walked towards the back of the pickup.

_Why in the hell did I say that?_ Joel thought to himself.

"Alright Bill. Lets do this."

Bill lifted up the door to the garage. "Alright. Put 'er in first." He said to Ellie, who was sitting in the drivers seat of the pickup.

"Already did it."

"Just keep your foot on the clutch and when we get to roll- "

"I know how to pop a clutch."

"How the hell do-? You know what, I don't care. Just don't fuck it up!" Joel and Bill pushed the car to the door enterance.

"Alright Ellie, get ready."

"Now! Now, hit it!" Bill called as the car rolled down the small slope towards the road.

The car failed to start up. However, there was a big hill below them, which was more than enough room.

"Guys, to your left!" Ellie called out as Bill and Joel pushed the car. Joel grabbed his shotgun and blasted a clicker 5 feet away.

After a few more seconds of fighting, he heard Ellie, "A little help here?" Joel looked and saw Ellie struggling against a clicker. Joel pulled out his pipe, ran up to the clicker as fast as he could, and swung.

"Jesus Joel!" Ellie cried out as she saw the clicker's head shatter.

"You ok?" Joel asked, clearly worried if anything had happened to Ellie.

"I'm fine dumbass, get back to pushing!" She told him.

Joel ran to the back of the pickup tuck and started pushing. Bill was already there. They reached top of the hill and pushed the car down.

Ellie managed to get it started. "You hear that?" He called out to Bill

"Yeah, but that means that the infected hear it too. Get to the damn truck!"

Joel and Bill hoped into the back of the pickup. "Go, go! Floor it!" Ellie drove the car away from the infected chasing after them, and they left the town.


	8. Chapter 7: On the Road

**[AN] This is a harder series to write than I thought. The whole point of this series is trying to get into Joel's head throughout his and Ellie's journey across the country. A lot of crucial moments happen in game, but including them in this story seems unoriginal.**

**In the future, I'm probably going to have to jump around in game events some. There is no way I can write down the entire Pittsburgh section of the game, for example. However, there are some key moments that I need to include for the sake of the story, and explaining some of Joel's actions throughout.I hope that made sense to everyone.**

**Just so were clear, this takes place directly after Bill tells Joel to leave his town with the car. Additionally, if you don't know how to play Texas hold'em, look it up, you'll see why.**

**Now I'll let you get to the story.**

* * *

"Now it's my turn to drive." Joel said to Ellie as he walked up to the pickup truck.

"Okay." Ellie said as she scooted over to the shotgun seat of the car.

Joel started to drive away from Bill's town and headed for the abandoned highway.

"So, what do we do now?" Ellie asked him.

"It's gettin' late, and a storm's coming. I'm gonna find us a place to rest up."

"Okay." She said quietly. Out of the corner of his eye, Joel saw her staring out the window, admiring the forest on the side of the road rush by them.

"Umm... Joel?" Ellie looked up to Joel, who was focusing on the road.

"I... I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about Tess. I won't being it up again." She finished quickly.

Joel inhaled sharply, but let it go. _You really have no idea what the fuck I'm going through right now, do you? _He shook his head. He had nothing to say.

He didn't respond. He really hoped Ellie would realize that he didn't want to talk about it. Thankfully, she did. They drove along the abandoned highway with only the sound of distant thunder and their pickup keeping them company.

* * *

**[A few hours later]**

"We're stopping here for the night." Joel said as he pulled up to a motel just off the highway. He drove into the parking lot as the rain started coming down.

"Common, lets get inside before we get drenched!" Joel called out to Ellie, who was already running towards the closest open room. Joel ran in after her and closed the door.

Ellie sat down on the couch, staring out the small window, watching the downpour. "I'm glad we got inside."

"Me too." Joel said as he turned on his flashlight. Damn_, its dark in here._

Joel swept the small room with his flashlight. All he saw was a bed, a swivel chair, a desk, a coffee table, a couch, and a bunch of junk on the floor. The wallpaper was peeling of the wall in some places, and the place had obviously been ransacked.

"So, you ready to get your ass kicked again?" Ellie asked. Joel turned to face her, sitting on the couch and placing a deck of cards on the coffee table.

"You wish." Joel said pulling up a swivel chair to the other side of the table. He placed his flashlight down, using it to light up the table.

"Before we start, I was thinking we could keep a continuous count of our chips. We just pick up where we left off the last game, until one of us is broke. Then we reset. What do ya' think?"

"I don't see why not. But lets start that count now, and forget what happened in the last game."

"Sure thing." Ellie said as she shuffled the deck.

Joel reached into his backpack and pulled out a bunch of empty bullet casings.

"We should make the shotgun shells worth 5 chips, and hunting rifle casings worth 3." Ellie suggested.

"That's actually not a bad idea." Joel replied. He counted and split the 'chips' evenly between the two of them, each of them getting 126 'chips' . Ellie started dealing. Joel placed his two cards face down on the table, and they both threw in a one chip blind.

"Damn its dark in here." Joel thought as he reached for his lighter. He flicked it on, and noticed something was different. "This lighter is metallic, not plastic..." He looked up at Ellie, who was using a plastic lighter to look at her cards as well.

"Ellie?"

Ellie looked up and smiled when she saw the lighter in his hand. Her lighter was green, matching her eyes, which were reflecting the flame. "Is there something wrong with your lighter?" She said.

_Let the kid have her fun_. Joel thought to himself.

"So, how'd you do it?"

"I found another lighter at Bill's town. I liked this one," she held up her lighter, "but I know you needed something to light fires with, so I got you a new one. You're welcome."

Joel sighed lightheartedly. Her having a lighter wasn't going to kill him. He went and looked down at his two cards, _A_ _six of spades, and a three of diamonds._ He maintained a poker face as he said, "I check."

"Check". She dealt the flop down the flop.

_Queen of diamonds, 7 of hearts, king of hearts. Lets see where this goes_. "I raise." He placed a rifle and pistol bullet in the pot.

"I raise." Ellie placed a shotgun shell down. Joel matched her bet, and she placed down the 4th card. _Queen of hearts._ "Check."

"Check." She placed down the final community card. _Damn, nine of diamonds, I got nothing._ "Check."

"I raise." Ellie said, placing down two shotgun shells.

"I fold." Joel didn't want to risk it.

"So, what'd you have?" Ellie asked him.

Joel showed her his two cards, "Nothing. You?" She showed Joel her cards. "Jack of spades and seven of diamonds. Double pair." She picked up the cards, shuffled the deck, and dealt. They both put in the one chip blind.

_King of spades, five of clubs_. Joel thought to himself.

"Check." Ellie said, looking up at Joel.

"Check." Joel said. Ellie dealt the flop. _Eight of diamonds, six of spades, six, of diamonds._

"By the way, I'm sorry for freaking out at Bill's place, its just..." Joel looked up at Ellie who was looking at him with what seemed to be genuine remorse on her face

"That Bill's an obnoxious, paranoid, unstable asshole?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Don't worry. We got the car, that's what matters. In your position, I'd have done the same thing. However, next time, try to do what I say."

"Sure thing Joel."

Neither of them bet, Ellie drew the next community card. _Jack of diamonds._ Ellie didn't raise, and Joel decided to bluff and raised by 10.

Ellie bit her lip. "I fold." She thought after thinking for a second.

"What did you have?" Joel asked her, wondering if his bluff worked, or she just had a worse hand than he did.

"Ten of clubs, four of hearts. You?"

"King spades, five clubs." _So, she had a worse hand then. Well, a win's a win_.

Joel was starting to get tired, all the running around at Bill's place was starting to catch up to him. "One more round, and I'm calling it a night. I'm tired."

"Same here." Ellie dealt again, and they both put in the one chip blind.

_Eight of diamonds, six of hearts._ Neither of them increased the bet, and Ellie dealt the flop.

_Jack of clubs, ten of hearts, ace of spades._ Joel didn't raise, but matched Ellie after she raised by two. Ellie placed down the next community card.

_Jack of diamonds._ Neither of them raised, and Ellie placed down the final card.

"I raise by 4." Ellie said.

"I fold. I had eight of diamonds, six of hearts. You?"

"Three of a kind of jacks." She showed Joel her hand. "What was that about beginners luck, you said?" Ellie grabbed her 'chips' from the table

"You got lucky. You won't do so well next game." Joel said. He looked around the dark room, making sure that the bed and the couch were the only places they could sleep. "You mind taking the couch Ellie?"

"Not a problem."

Joel looked above and saw an old painting above it. It was stained from who knows what, but after getting a bit closer, Joel realized what it was.

In the picture, it was a bright summer day. There was a boy, sitting in a tire swing being pushed by a man. They where too far away to make out details, but they clearly were unworried. The swing was attached to a lonely tree in the middle of what looked like a back yard.

He unconsciously reached for his watch. He still remembered setting up that tire swing in his back yard for Sarah, as one of the gifts he gave her on her... _I can't even remember how old she was when I gave her that._ A sense of loss and guilt welled up inside him. How could he have forgotten that? She loved that swing.

_Every day goes by, I remember less and less about her. And every day, I think of her death in my arms._ The pain had lessened, sure. But not as much as he thought it would.

Joel sighed. _I can't afford to dwell on this. Not now. It won't do me any good._

_I'm sorry Sarah._

"Hey, Joel?"

He turned around to see Ellie sticking her out from behind her makeshift bed on the couch.

Joel collected himself quickly, "What is it Ellie?"

"I just wanted to say thanks for getting that clicker off me at Bill's. you saved my life."

Joel sighed sadly.

"Thank you Ellie." He said. To his own surprise, he felt like he actually meant it.

"'Night." Ellie said, going back behind the couch.

"Goodnight Ellie." Joel said.

* * *

Joel was in his backyard, back in Texas. Sarah was on her tire swing, being pushed by Joel.

"Common dad, you can do better than that!" She teased him. Joel happily obliged, and pushed harder. He heard Sarah laugh, and smiled.

_I never thought this is what it would be like._ He thought to himself. Before Sarah was born, he felt that he made one of the biggest mistakes of his life by having her.

But now? He wouldn't trade this for the world. All of the late nights, the work, the exhaustion, losing the chance to go to college, was worth it. As long as she was safe and happy, he would be too. That's all that he cared about.

"That's enough for now dad." Sarah called to him, and he stopped pushing the tire swing and gently slowed it down. She got of the swing and gave him a hug, which he gladly returned.

"I love you dad. You're doing great."

"I love you too baby girl." He said to her.

* * *

**[Next morning]**

Joel woke when some grey light from the open window hit his face. He got up and walked over to Ellie, who was already up. She was leaning over the table playing solitaire.

" 'Morning Ellie."

Ellie sat up straight and turned around. "Oh. Hey Joel."

Joel noticed the tired look on her face. "You get any sleep last night?" He asked her.

She paused for a second. "Not too much, no."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah." She said quietly as she looked down. _It's a shame she has to go through this. She doesn't deserve it, that's for sure. To think that I almost killed her a few days ago. Man, what the shit got into me then?_

He actually felt guilty about that incident now

Joel walked over to the window. It was still raining, but it was down to a drizzle now. "You ready to go?" He asked Ellie.

Ellie yawned and said, "Yeah, lets go." She picked up her cards off the table.

Once they were in the car, Joel said to her, "If you want, you can lie down in the back seat of the car, try and get some sleep."

"Good idea. Let's go."

Joel pulled out of the parking lot and drove down the abandoned highway.


	9. Chapter 8: Trust

**[AN] Sorry this took so long to come out. As I mentioned in the (now deleted) update I was sick. **

**This chapter goes back into in game dialogue. I only have a few more of these to go before I have long periods of open time to write original material. Just bear with me until then.**

* * *

Joel shot up out of the water and gasped for air. He stared down at the lifeless body that had just been trying to drown him. He looked up and saw Ellie holding the pistol he had been struggling to grab.

"Man. I shot the hell outta that guy, huh?" The look on Ellie's face appeared to be a result of about a dozen different emotions, with shock being predominate.

"Yeah, you sure did." Joel said as he stood up.

"I feel sick." She sat down on a upside down crate nearby.

"Why didn't you just hang back like I told you to?" Joel grabbed the gun from her. He probably would have been able to take out that guy by himself, and Ellie should have listened to him.

"Well, you're glad I didn't right?"

"I'm glad I didn't get my head blown off by a goddamned kid." Joel said as he checked the hunter's corpse for any supplies.

"You know what, no." Joel turned around and saw Ellie walk up to him. "How about, hey Ellie, I know it wasn't easy but it was either him or me. Thanks for saving my ass. You got anything like that for me Joel?"

Joel thought about what to say for a second before replying, "We need to keep going."

"Lead the way." Ellie said as Joel started walking up the ladder.

* * *

**[2010, Mid October, 5:00PM.]**

"You still haven't told me where we're goin' dad." Sarah said as she got into Joel's car.

"I promise I'll let you know when we get there." Joel said as he checked the trunk of the car.

_Folding table, check. Papers, check. Fencepost, check. Hammer and nails, check. Electric lamps, check. Ear plugs, check. Glasses, check. Suitcase, check._ Joel opened the suitcase. "Everything's here." He thought to himself as he checked over its contents and closed the case.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with this being my tenth birthday, now would it?" Sarah said from inside the car.

"It's a surprise." Joel said, _for once, I might actually surprise her with a gift._

"You know I hate surprises daddy." She said as Joel walked up to the front doors of their car. As he got inside, Sarah gave him her best 'sad puppy' face that got him to cave in more times then he would like to admit.

"Not today kiddo. And besides, you don't hate surprises, you hate waiting for them." He said as he put on his seatbelt and started up the car.

"Your seatbelt on?"

"Yes dad."

Joel pulled out of their driveway, and noticed a slight look of surprise on Sarah's face as they drove away, not towards Austin.

After a couple of minutes driving away from civilization, Sarah asked, "So are we going hiking?"

"Nope."

"Camping?"

_Damn. I should have thought of that._ "Nope."

Sarah looked out the window and watched the wilderness around them.

"Dad, mind turning on the radio to my station?"

Joel sighed inwardly. He hated the music she liked, but he had to admit, he didn't find anything in it objectionable, it was just simply not country music.

"Fine, but only because it's your birthday." He said knowing full well he would be doing this if it wasn't her birthday. Joel turned around to see Sarah's appreciative smile, which made the next few hours of crappy (read: not country) music easily worth it.

After around 3 hours of chatting, Sarah's music, and near empty highways, Joel pulled on to a dirt road.

"Okay dad, I'm stumped. What are you planing?" Sarah said from the backseat of the car as Joel drove on the dirt road for a couple of miles.

"You'll see soon enough." Joel said.

Joel pulled up to an abandoned building a few minutes later."Wait in here for just a second. And don't look in the trunk."

Joel grabbed the papers, suitcase, and one of the electric lamps from the trunk and walked inside the small building. He and to my hadn't been able to figure out what exactly it had been used for. It was fairly small, made of brick, had a few small windows, and only two rooms. The first floor, and a small basement, which actually had a dirt floor. All that mattered is that it was structurally secure, and nobody would care what went on around here.

Joel walked down to the cellar with one of the electric lamps on.

_I'm glad I found this place._ Joel thought as he placed the case on the ground, followed by the papers, making sure they were all face down.

Joel went back up to the car, and grabbed the second lamp, hammer, and fence post.

"Sarah, come on out and give me a hand."

Sarah got out of the car and walked to the trunk. Joel motioned over to the ear plugs and safety glasses. "Take those and follow me.", he said. They brought the stuff downstairs, and went back up for the table and nails.

Joel was setting up the table while Sarah turned on the second electric lamp.

"So, dad, why'd you spend around three hours dragging me to an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere on my birthday?"

"To be honest, I just wanted to spend some time listening to your favorite music." Joel said while sticking the fence post into the dirt floor. That got a laugh out of Sarah.

Joel nailed the paper on to the fence post , and walked over to the table

Joel picked up the suitcase and placed it on the table. "Come over here honey."

"Now before I open this, I want to emphasize that this is not a toy." Joel said in a firm, but kind voice. "I think you're mature enough to handle this, and I don't want to be proven wrong. I trust you. So after I open this box, I want you to do exactly what I say. We clear?"

Sarah nodded, "I understand."

_Please don't be wrong on this. _Joel thought. "Happy tenth birthday Sarah." Joel opened the case, and looked over to his stunned daughter.

"Wow. This was... quite the surprise dad. Didn't see this coming ." Sarah said.

Joel carefully picked up the nine millimeter pistol, checking again (for what was probably the hundredth time by now) that it was completely empty and the safety was on and and placed it on the table, with the gun barrel pointed towards the fence post.

"First of all, put these over your eyes and in your ears." Joel said to Sarah, handing her ear plugs and safety glasses. They both put on glasses and put in the plugs.

"Now, I need to follow some rules. First, never point the gun at anyone or anything you aren't going to shoot. Secondly, never put your finger on the trigger unless you're going to shoot. Third, always assume that a gun is loaded, even if you know its not." Joel looked at Sarah, who was looking up at him. He could tell she was committing all of this to memory.

"You remember all of that?" Joel asked seriously. "If you need me to repeat anything, now's the time to ask me.

"Never point the gun at anything unless I'm shooting it, finger off the trigger unless I'm going to fire, always assume the gun is loaded."

"Good. Now, this is the safety. When you aren't using the gun, alway have it flipped this way." Joel showed Sarah the safety, and how to turn it on and off.

Joel set the gun down on the table. "Now, you pick it up."

* * *

"Now you seem to know your way around a gun. You reckon you can handle that?" Joel placed a rifle in front of Ellie.

"Well, uh, I sorta shot a rifle before." Ellie took the gun from Joel. "But it was at rats."

"Rats?" _Well if she's able to hit rats, people shouldn't be a problem. _Joel tried to convince himself.

"With BB's."

_Fuck._

"Well, its the same basic concept." Joel said, doing his best to not sound hopeless, which he felt.

"Lift it up." Ellie lifted the gun up against her shoulder. "Alright now, you're gonna wanna lean right into that stock 'cause it is going to kick a hell of a lot more than any BB rifle." Joel pushed her shoulder firmly into the stock.

"Okay."

"Go ahead and pull the bolt back. Grab it right there, tug it." Ellie chambered a new round into the hunting rifle.

"Now as soon as you fire you're gonna want to get another round in their quick."

"Listen to me, if I get into any trouble down there, you make every shot count. Yeah?" "And don't hit me."

"I got this."

"Alright." Joel gave a small nod. He knew that not giving her a gun was just delaying the inevitable. That didn't make him feel that much more comfort at putting his life at her mercy.

Joel snuck down towards the ladder. "And just so we're clear about back their. It was either him or me." Joel dropped down the ladder, not entirely sure why he had said that.

* * *

Joel heard a bullet fly right past his head, and a 200 pound weight fall on top of him. Joel pushed the now headless hunter's corpse of himself, and looked up at Ellie.

"Alright, come on down." Joel looked up to Ellie, who slowly got up and walked towards the ladder.

_At least ten kills. She's a crack shot. Why didn't I do this earlier?_ He thought

_Because you tried to kill her, you asshole._ Another part of him thought.

Joel walked over to one of the dead hunters, _Ellie got this one_. He pulled the pistol out of his hand.

"How'd I do?" Ellie asked. Joel noticed the stunned look in her eyes. Joel gently took the rifle out of her hands.

"How about something a little more your size." Joel handed her the pistol, but pulled it back for a second. "It's for emergencies only." "_Which will be at least 12 hours every day._ He thought to himself.

"Okay." She said as she took the gun. She starred at it for a moment before putting it in the back of her pants, just like Joel did. She looked up at Joel with a look of, _Confidence? Gratitude? Trust?_

_Trust_. Joel decided. _If only she knew about what I almost did a few days ago, I wonder if she would have shot me by now. Well, it don't matter, cause there is no way in hell she is gonna ever find out_.

_For better or worse, we're stuck together. Trusting her might just keep me alive. That's all this is about..._

_Right?_

Joel was unsure why he ended that with a question.

* * *

**[AN] I didn't expect this chapter to turn out this way, but I'm pleased that it did. Hopefully, I won't take nearly a week to upload the next chapter.**


	10. Chapter 9: We Move On

**[AN] If everything goes to plan, the next chapter will be out tomorow. Don't for get to R &R, and I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Joel felt the early morning sun on his face as he woke up. _I should get some more rest, but I won't be able to fall back to sleep. Old habits die hard, I guess._ He had gotten used to waking up early ever since he and Ellie had been out on the road. They were safe in this radio station, but his body didn't care.

" 'Morning old timer." Henry said to him as he sat up and pulled his blanket off.

" 'Morning." Joel rubbed the sleep from his eyes. _No nightmares. I'll take it_. His dreams weren't plagued with his daughter's death, which wasn't a common occurrence. All he could remember from his dream was him and Ellie laughing by a campfire in the middle of the forest over something or another. Joel looked over to Ellie and smiled. _She's a good kid. Maybe having her around will do me some good._

Joel pulled himself out of his own thoughts and looked over to Henry. "Where's Sam?"

"He's sleeping in that other room over there." He pointed over to the closed door that lead to another room.

Joel got up and walked next to the window, watching the nearby forest start to brighten up with the rising sun. The warmth from the sunlight on his face was so relaxing.

"Ya' know Henry, I haven't given a you a proper apology for nearly shooting you yesterday. So, I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about that. I truly am." He looked over to Henry who was cooking something over a gas burner.

"Water under the bridge, old man. To be honest, I would have done the same thing you did had our roles been reversed."

"Thanks." Joel looked back out the window. _Is it just me, or is their a pattern of me befriending people I almost shoot?_ Joel chuckled.

"Mind if I ask you for some advice?" Henry asked.

"Sure go ahead." Joel turned around and leaned against the concrete wall next to the window.

"It's with Sam. How do I explain to him that all the people in our group aren't coming back?" Henry looked down at the floor.

Joel thought for the moment. "You've lost members of you're group before, right?"

"Obviously. Nothing like this though."

"Has Sam ever lost a close friend before?" Joel asked.

"No, there weren't many kids his age with us."

"Anybody he'd miss in particular?"

Henry paused for a moment before replying, "No, not really, but he got along well with everyone pretty well."

"Okay then. Henry, you don't need to explain to Sam that those people are gone now. He'll understand that. You need to be their to help him cope with the sense of loss. Luckily for you, it shouldn't be to difficult."

"How do you do it?" Henry asked after a minute of silence.

"Do what?"

"Deal with it. The loss."

"How do you know I've experienced it?" Joel asked.

"First of all, if you haven't experienced it, you're either a hermit or a lier. Secondly, man have you ever looked in a mirror?"

Joel turned to face Henry, "What?"

I can tell just by looking at you're face that you've been through a lot. And not just because of your gray hair." Joel chuckled at that, Henry continued, "I can see you've suffered a lot over these years. It's in your eyes."

Joel slowly turned towards the window. He didn't respond.

"I'm sorry Joel. I won't ask how or when, but I'm sorry."

Joel grabbed his watch. Joel spoke exactly what he was feeling right now, "It never goes away. The pain, I mean. You've heard the saying, 'time heals all wounds'?" He turned back to Henry.

"Yeah."

"Total bullshit. If you're lucky, the pain will decrease, but it never goes away. The regret, the loss, the guilt, all of it. It will be with you when you wake up in the morning, when you go to sleep at night, and every hour, minute, and second in between." Joel paused for a moment. "Trust me, I speak from experience."

Joel collected himself, and continued "The best thing you can tell Sam is that you have to move on. The people you cared about would want you to keep on living. Even if just waking up in the morning hurts like a bitch. And believe me, I've been through days like that. Things happen, and we move on. That's what's has to happen. It's best not to dwell on it."

He looked out the window, trying to calm himself down.

"So, what are you thinking our game plan should, be?" Henry asked Joel after a couple minutes of silence.

"Last I heard, my brother was in Jackson City, Wyoming. He was a firefly, he'll know where we can find them."

"Well, that's better than the plan I had. It just might work."

"By the way, me and Ellie have a running game of Texas hold'em going. You and Sam are welcome to join us, if you want."

"Sure, why not. You'll need to teach me how to play though."

"You don't know how to play Texas hold 'em? My, what a depraved life you've lived." They both laughed at that.

A few minuets later Joel heard Ellie yawn.

"Damn. That smells good."

" 'Morning." Joel said as he looked over to Ellie.

"Where's Sam?"

"I let him sleep in for once."

"Oh."

"Well, if you want him to join us, you can go wake his ass up."

"Okay." Joel saw Ellie walk over to Henry's room. _It's nice that she has someone her around her own age._

Joel looked out through the window. _Cloudless day. Beautiful. _He thought to himself.

"Sam!" Ellie called out. Joel turned around to See Ellie fall through the door with Sam on top of her.

"Shit, he's turning!" Joel ran over to his backpack and pulled out his pistol. A bullet flew past him, and he fell back in shock and dropped the pistol

He looked over to Henry, who was holding a pistol. "That's my fucking brother!"

Joel looked back over to Ellie, who was trying to push Sam off herself. "Screw it!" She wasn't going to last much longer. As he was reaching for his pistol another shot came from Henry's gun. He looked over to Ellie, who was pushing Sam's dying body of of herself.

"Oh, shit." She crawled backwards away from Sam, who was now gagging on his own blood.

"Ellie? Ellie, are you alright?" Joel moved over to Ellie and place an hand on her shoulder.

"Uh-huh." She was breathing heavily as she briefly looked up at Joel. "Oh my God." She got out in one breath.

"Sam?"

"Oh no."

"Sam..." Joel looked at Henry, who was still holding on to the gun that he had used to kill his own brother. He was shaking.

"Henry." Joel stood up halfway and took a step towards Henry. "Ellie, stay there. Henry." He took his hand off Ellie's shoulder and took another step towards Henry.

"Henry, what have you done?"

"I'm gonna get that gun from you, okay?" Joel said, trying to calm Henry down.

"Sa... Sa... Sam." Henry said through tears. He pointed the gun at Joel.

"Whoa, okay, easy." Joel took a step back. He had no idea if Henry would actually shoot him, but he didn't want to find out.

"This is you're fault."

"This is nobody's fault, Henry."

"It's all you're fault!" Henry said. Joel wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or him, either way this was going badly."

"Henry." Joel saw Henry breathing heavily.

"Henry no!" Joel said right before Henry put the gun to his head and shot.

"Oh my God!" Ellie said as Henry's lifeless body crumpled to the floor.


	11. Chapter 10: Let It Go

**[AN] This picks up right where the last chapter left off. Don't forget to R & R.**

* * *

The silence was deafening. Neither of them spoke for a couple of minutes.

_Everything can go to shit so easily, can't it._ Joel thought to himself bitterly.

"Wha... What do we do now?" Ellie said. Joel looked down at the girl, she was still breathing heavily.

"What can we do? We've got to go."

"Shouldn't we bury them, or something?" Ellie asked.

"We can't-" Joel said immediately.

"They didn't fucking deserve this Joel. It's the least we can do." Ellie said firmly.

Joel was about to respond when her words sunk in. _She's right, and you know it._

"Fine. I think I saw a shovel somewhere around here. Get it."

"Okay." Ellie, exhaled deeply when she got up. "Damn." Ellie said, commenting on what had just happened.

"Yeah." Joel replied somberly.

Ellie walked out of the room to grab the shovel. Joel walked over to Henry's corpse and pulled the gun out of his hands. He took the back pack off his dead body, and placed it to the side.

_Ellie was right. You didn't deserve this._ Joel thought sadly.

Joel saw the door open, and Ellie walked in carrying a shovel. "What do we do now?" She said.

"Follow me." Joel grabbed the shovel from her and headed out of the room.

* * *

Digging the holes had been harder than he expected. It had taken the two of them nearly the entire day. Now, he was standing in front of two piles of dirt, marked by two makeshift crosses and scraps of paper with the names Henry and Sam on them.

"How do you do it?" Ellie asked.

"Do what?"

"Deal with this. The loss?"

Joel sighed. He had more or less had this exact conversation with Henry that morning.

"First of all, you're lucky, you barely even knew them. Secondly, it fades over time. It'll never go away though. You just got to live with it."

"Okay." She said simply.

Joel turned to walk away when Ellie said, "Shouldn't we say something?"

"What?"

"I don't know. I just feel like we should say goodbye or something."

Joel walked back to the graves and said. "You didn't deserve this. Henry, I wish I could have stopped you, and I'm sorry I couldn't. Goodbye."

Joel walked back to the radio station, and had just reached the door when he heard Ellie start talking. "God, I'm not even fucking sure if you exist, let alone if praying even works. But if you're out there, give Henry and Sam peace. They deserved better than this." With that, Ellie turned around and walked back into the station.

Joel sat down on the floor and said, "We're gonna have to sleep here tonight. It's getting late, and this place is secure."

"You're right. It's just..." Ellie looked down at the remaining blood from Henry and Sam, now dried on the floor. They had cleaned most of it up, but he could still see some of it.

"We don't have a choice. Common." He lead Ellie into a different room, and put down his backpack.

"Pull out your deck of cards Ellie."

"What?"

"We're playing a couple of rounds. Common."

"Why?"

"Look, things happen, and we move on. Moping about them isn't going to bring them back."

Ellie looked down at the floor for a second before replying, "Fine." She sat down and pulled out the deck of cards.

* * *

"One last round, okay?" Joel said after a yawn. He was tired, and Ellie was slaughtering him. He was down to 45 chips to Ellie's 207.

"Oh, scared that I'm going to wipe you out already?" Ellie responded jokingly. _She's handling herself pretty well. I'm glad I could get her mind off of what happened this morning._

Joel dealt the cards and looked down at his hand. "_Two of hearts and four of clubs._"

"I raise." Ellie placed a shotgun shell in the pot along with the one chip blind.

"Screw it." Joel matched her bet, than placed down the flop. "_Two of clubs, ace of diamonds, seven of hearts._"

Neither of them raised, and Joel placed down the fourth card "_Nine of diamonds._"

"I raise." Ellie said, placing three more chips down.

"I fold." I can't afford to lose any more. He was down to 39 chips now.

"Damn. I had double aces. What did you have?"

"The best I had was a pair of twos." Joel responded, happy that he folded.

"Well, that worked out rather nicely." Ellie said smugly.

"Speak for yourself. Goodnight." Joel said, placing his backpack under his head and closing his eyes.

After a minute of silence, he heard Ellie's voice fill up the dark room. "How come you never seem worried?" She asked.

"What'd you mean?"

"It's just that... nothing seems to bother you. You never seem scared."

"Trust me, I am."

"What are you scared of?" Ellie asked nervously.

Joel thought for a second before deciding, "I don't know. Loosing people I care about, I guess." Joel paused for a second before asking, "What about you?"

"I'm scared of ending up alone." _Understandable_.

Joel was about to fall asleep when Ellie said, "Um, Joel?"

"What?" Joel replied. _Just let me sleep._

"Do you think that there is a heaven? Or anything at all, after this?"

Joel sighed. "Does it matter. Either way, the people you care about are dead, and all you can do is hope you don't need to find out the answer to that question are anytime soon."

"But.."

"You have to let it go Ellie. Thinking about this won't do a damn bit of good."

"It's just -"

"That's enough." Joel said firmly.

Ellie sighed before replying, "Fine. I'm sorry."

"Get to sleep, okay?"

* * *

"Jimmy, I am warning you. Don't!" Joel fired his revolver at Jimmy, and watched his neighbors body fall to the floor.

"Common Sarah", he looked behind him, where Sarah was standing right behind him...

"Sarah, where are you?" Joel looked around in a panic, she was just behind him, where could she be, if anything happened.

He heard his daughter crying next to him.

"Sarah!" No no no no, he had shot Jimmy not Sarah. Joel fell to his knees next to his baby girl, who had a gunshot wound in her stomach.

"Daddy... why?" Sarah said through tears and cries of pain.

"I didn't shoot you... I." This can't be happening, I was protecting her.

"This is your fault. It's all your fault.." Sarah looked up and stained at her father, and stopped breathing.

"Sarah? Sarah!" Joel picked up Sarah's body and pulled her to his chest.

"Common baby girl. Stay with me, stay with me." Joel was in tears now.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry."

* * *

"Joel!"

Joel snapped awake and saw Ellie kneeling next to him with her hand on his shoulder.

" 'Morning." Joel said as he sat up.

"You were having a nightmare. I woke you up."

Joel looked out the window. It was early morning.

"Lets get going." Joel said as he picked up his backpack.

"Who's Sarah?" Joel froze in his tracks.

"Ellie, don't you ever bring that up again." He growled out.

"Okay, jeez."

"Lets get a move on." Joel walked out the door of the radio station.

* * *

**[AN] I updated this story to make sure all details matched official cannon. Nothing major, just some dates.**


	12. Chapter 11: Good for Something

"What kinds of horses go out after dusk?"

Joel sighed, _Not this again_.

"Nightmares."

Nothing about nightmares was funny to Joel. Not with the shit he dealt with in his dreams on a near daily basis. He simply sighed and stared at the abandoned highway ahead of them, and kept on walking.

"You want to know how I got out of Iraq?" Ellie asked him.

"How?" Joel asked, knowing full well she would finish the joke regardless.

"Iran." Joel actually had to stifle a small laugh.

"I don't get it." Ellie told him.

"They where these two countries that bordered each other." Joel explained as he walked on to the hood of a wrecked car in his way.

"Oh... Oh, now I get it." Ellie replied.

Joel looked around. Nothing in sight for miles accept this highway, old farmland, and hundreds of abandoned cars. It was around noon, the sun was beating down on them, there wasn't a cloud in the sky, and it was boiling.

They had left the radio tower two days ago. Ellie seemed to have completely forgotten about what had happened to Henry and Sam, or at least wasn't letting it bother her.

Ellie climbed up next to Joel, "Well, next to no shade for miles. Joy." She said sarcastically. Joel looked down at her and saw the sleeves of her black undershirt rolled up.

"Ellie, roll your sleeves back down."

"But its so fucking hot out here!"

"What if someone sees that?" Joel said, pointing to the exposed bite mark on Ellie's arm.

"Oh shit. You're right. Sorry. It's just that..."

"Anyone sees you with that, it's going to take a mighty deal of convincing to get them to believe you're immune. You wanna take that risk?"

"Fine." She pulled down her right sleeve to cover up the bite. Joel jumped off the hood of the car, and Ellie followed.

"If you want, you can take off that red t-shirt. There's ain't exactly much use for it now." Joel suggested.

"Good idea." Ellie took off her t-shirt and stuffed it in her bag.

"Not much of a difference, but its better than nothing." She said as she caught up to Joel, who had continued walking along.

"So, I never asked you, what did you do before the outbreak?" Ellie asked Joel as they passed another abandoned, ruined car.

"I was a construction worker. It was a hard job, and I had to work late, but it kept us fed, so it was worth it."

"Oh, your brother Tommy lived in the same house as you?"

"No, why?"

"You said it kept _us_ fed."

"Oh. Um, tommy was a construction worker also. He worked for me, actually." That's not who he was talking about at first, and he hoped Ellie didn't notice the hesitation in his voice

"Oh, okay then." Ellie seemed satisfied with the answer and started to whistle for a bit, then said, "Hey, Joel, lets check out that place over there." She pointed to a building that seemed to be a couple miles off the right side of the highway.

"Good idea. If nothing else, we need to get out of the sun. Let's go kiddo." He passed a old greyhound bus and stepped over the guard rail and started walking over to the house.

"Shit!" Joel heard Ellie call out, followed by several gunshots from her pistol. Joel ran back over the rail and saw her standing by the entrance of the bus. A dead runner with a backpack was on the ground in front of her.

"You okay Ellie?" He asked.

"Yeah, he just came out of nowhere, startled me is all." Ellie looked over to Joel as she crouched down and started searching the body. "I wonder how he got infected, and what's he doing out here. Don't the infected have to eat and get water somehow?"

"You're right, but somehow the fungus makes it possible for people to survive longer without food and water. Something to do with shutting down some parts of the body that the fungus doesn't need, from what I've heard. I'm not a scientist, don't ask me how it works."

"Hey, look at this!" Ellie pulled a pair of binoculars out of the backpack.

"Nice find kiddo. Mind if I borrow them for a second?"

"Sure, but if you break it, you're getting me new ones."

Joel looked through the binoculars over to the building in the distance. "Old farmhouse. Probably nothing inside, but it'll give us shade."

"Hey, Joel." Ellie said.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't we just wait in the bus? It'll give us plenty of shade."

"That would make a lot more sense. Good thinking."

Joel turned around and walked back to the bus. Ellie was already inside, checking for supplies towards the back of the bus.

"Find anything?" Joel asked her while he went to check out the front of the bus.

"This should be useful." Joel turned around to see Ellie holding on to a road map of Ohio.

"Yeah, that'll come in handy. You hold on to it."

"Oh, by the way, give me back the binoculars."

"Sure thing. Catch." Joel tossed them over in her direction at the back of the bus.

"Ow! What the fuck Joel!"

"What happened?"

"You hit me in the head. Why the hell didn't you just walk back here?"

"I said 'catch'. You need to be more aware of your surroundings."

"Or, you could not be an asshole."

"Why not both?"

Ellie laughed, "You got it Joel. But now, it's time for revenge." Joel saw her pull out that dreaded joke book.

"Give me strength." Joel muttered, just loud enough for Ellie to hear him.

"What did the big bucket say to the little bucket?" Ellie paused for dramatic effect, "You look a little pail."

_These are awful. _Joel thought to himself.

"What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?" Another pause. "Dam."

Joel managed to stifle a small chuckle.

"What washes up on small beaches? Microwaves."

"Okay, I think my ears have bled enough."

"You got off easy this time." Ellie said and looked up with mischievous smile.

Joel searched around a bit more finding nothing else of value. He turned around and saw Ellie all the way at the back, lying down on the back row of seats reading one of the Savage Starlights he had found back in Pittsburgh.

"You know, if it doesn't get any cooler out there, why don't we just stay here for the day." Ellie suggested.

"Might as well. We ain't in a rush." Joel replied.

For better or worse, he had actually started to like this feisty red head. Things seemed to be better with her around, for whatever reason, and he actually wanted to keep her safe, and happy.

He remembered what Bill had said about caring for people, and how it's only good for getting you killed. Maybe he was right. _Hell, he probably is right._ Joel thought to himself. However, Ellie had already saved his life more than once.

_We make a good team_. Joel thought to himself. _She's good for keeping me alive, and their are worse people to have for company. _

Joel tossed his backpack in the middle of the row down the bus, and lied down and placed his head on it.

"What are you doing down there Joel?"

"There's more shade down here than on the seats, and you took the best spot." He pointed behind his head at the back row where Ellie was lying down.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm just going to try and sleep until tomorrow. Walking in that heat was exhausting."

"I feel exactly the same way. I'll see you in the morning."

"Good 'night' Joel."

"See you tomorrow morning Ellie."


	13. Chapter 12: Welcome to Ohio

Joel heard that dreaded 'click' as he pulled the trigger of his revolver. He heard that other dreaded clicking sound as he saw the clicker charge at him with the light from his flashlight.

"Joel, catch!" Joel spun around to see a pistol flying at his face. He reached up just in time to grab it, turned to face the clicker, and shot its head twice at point blank range. It fell down to floor of the highway rest stop they were going to stay in for the night. It was already late evening, and they had decided to get inside.

"And stay down you motherfucker!" Ellie called out as she clicked a dead stalker lying on the tiled floor in the head. She had blood all over her, and was holding her switchblade.

Joel looked down at the pistol Ellie had tossed him. It was her pistol.

"I'd like that back now, thanks." Ellie walked up to him and extended her hand.

"Thanks Ellie."

"Not a problem."

Joel mulled over what just happened in his head. _She gave up her gun in order to give me a chance of killing that clicker, and made herself face a stalker with only a switchblade. Granted, a stalker bite wouldn't kill her, and a clicker bite would be death to him. If I die, she's probably screwed, so this was simply her increasing her chances of survival._ Joel assured himself.

_Yeah, and she went through that entire thought process in the quarter second she had to decide to save your life. Yeah, that's totally what happened._ Another part of his brain that sounded suspiciously like Ellie chimed in.

Joel stopped thinking about that. Either way, he was alive, and genuinely grateful.

"So, Ellie, what do you think about Ohio so far?" They had crossed the state border earlier that day.

"To be honest, it's kinda a shit hole." Joel chuckled at that as he bent down to pick up the revolver he had dropped while grabbing Ellie's pistol.

"You search that side, I'll take this side, lets search for supplies."

"You got it." Ellie said as they started searching.

Joel was searching an old Starbucks booth when he heard Ellie, "Aww, gross."

_Probably just a dead body._ Joel thought.

Joel finished searching his side of the rest stop, sat down at one of the tables and waited for Ellie. He hadn't found anything useful, not that that was surprising.

He saw Ellie walk up to his table with a shotgun strapped over her. "All I found was this, and these." She sat down across from him and placed down a box of shotgun shells.

"You find these on the dead guy?" Joel asked.

"How did you-"

"I heard you say 'Awww gross', so I figured that's what it was."

"I've seen dead bodies Joel. This guy was torn to pieces, he had a bunch of infected corpses around him, mostly with fire and shotgun wounds. It was pretty bad."

"Body look fresh?"

"Probably only a few days old."

"Well, I guess we finished the job for him then."

"Yeah, I guess the two we took out where the ones that got him."

Joel looked at the box of shells. _Wait a second..._ "You said that the bodies had burn and shotgun wounds on them?"

"Yeah, why?" Ellie asked.

"Wait here, I'll be back in a minute. I mean it this time, wait."

Joel pulled the shotgun off his back, emptied out the shells, and took one of the shells Ellie had found. He walked out of the rest stop and loaded the shotgun.

He fired, and smiled. "Ellie's gonna love this."

He walked back inside, "What the hell are you doing wasting ammo Joel?"

Joel picked up another shell. "Do you know what fireworks are?"

"Yeah, but I've never seen them except in pictures. Why?"

"Follow me, I'm gonna show you the next best thing."

Joel loaded another shell into his shotgun as he walked out the door. "You ever fire a shotgun before?" He asked.

"No, but I know how to use it."

Joel handed her his shotgun loaded with the ammo she had found. "Point it up that way, and fire." Joel placed the gun at a 45 degree angle from her shoulder, and took a step back.

"Fire now."

Ellie fired the shotgun and watched the flaming metal light up the area around them.

"That was fucking awesome! What did you load this with?"

"Ellie, the shotgun shells you found contained a special type of ammo called 'dragons breath'. It was damn expensive back in my time, God only knows how rare that stuff is now."

"Well, the next hunter we face is going to have a _hell_ of a time." Ellie said with a smirk on her face."

"No kidd- wait, that was a pun, wasn't it?"

"Yep."

Joel looked at Ellie for a second before walking inside, followed by a laughing Ellie.

"Never talk again." Joel said half seriously.

* * *

Joel glanced up over at his opponent, and cringed at the smile on her face. _She knows she has me beat. It's only of matter of time._ If he made the wrong move here, he was going to regret it for a very long time.

Ellie wasn't here to save his ass this time.

In fact, she was at least partly responsible for getting him into this mess.

This was all up to him.

All he had left was one shotgun shell.

It was now, or never. He wasn't going to get a better shot than this.

"All in." Joel said as he placed his last remaining chip into the pot.

Joel revealed his cards, a seven of hearts and a seven of diamonds. Joel smiled as he saw the surprised look on Ellie's face.

"Three sevens and two tens for a full house. Not bad." The community cards consisted of a seven of spades, a ten of clubs, a ten of hearts, jack of diamonds, and a 4 of spades. Ellie looked up at Joel.

She revealed her cards.

"How in the hell did you..." She had a ten of spades and a ten of diamonds.

She had cleaned him out with a four of a kind.

"Damn it."

"So, I remember something about beginners luck?"

"Shut up."

"To be honest, I'm surprised you managed to hold out this long. You're not too bad."

"I'm never gonna hear the end of this am I?" Joel said with a half serious sigh.

"Nope." Ellie said happily, placing all of the cards on the table in the main deck.

Joel had an idea. "Ellie, before we hit the hey, I need to show you something important." Joel picked up the deck of cards and started shuffling.

"What is it?"

Joel continued to shuffle the deck, not looking up at her. "You ever play fifty two card pickup before?"

"Never heard of it before. How do you play it?"

"It's a fairly simple game, actually." Joel said as he looked up at Ellie. He stopped shuffling the deck.

He put the entire deck in his right hand, and flung all the cards into the air.

"Now pick them up." Joel said.

"Joel what the... Oh, you asshole." She said as she stood up to grab the cards, punching Joel in the arm as she walked last him. Joel laughed.

"I'm surprised you fell for that." He said to Ellie.

"Me and you both."

After a minute of watching Ellie pick up cards, Joel got up to help her out.

"Thanks, but you're still an asshole." Ellie said as he picked up the last remaining cards. Joel handed her the cards and she put the entire deck into her pack.

"Hey, that's what I'm here for." They both laughed at that.

"Lets call it a night." Joel placed his backpack on the ground, and placed his head on it.. Ellie followed his example, and they were both asleep within minutes.

* * *

"Morning Joel." Ellie gently kicked Joel.

Joel shot up, fearing that the kick was meant to inflict harm, but relaxed when he saw Ellie.

"Morning to you too." He sat up. "You made breakfast yet?"

"Yep." It had become a routine with them. Ellie almost always woke up before Joel, and by the time she had finished making breakfast, she woke up Joel.

Joel picked up the meat Ellie had cooked. "So, you up for another round of fifty two card pickup?" Joel asked, remembering the events of last night.

"Nice try Joel." Ellie said with a smile.

They finished eating and walked out of the rest stop. It was overcast and windy, but it didn't look like it was going to rain. Joel looked over to Ellie, who still had that shotgun strapped over her. "You sure you can handle that?"

"I'm fine. It's not that heavy, and why would we leave behind a perfectly good shotgun?"

"Because we already have a perfectly good shotgun?" Joel patted the one he had over his back."

"No, you have a perfectly good shotgun. This one's mine." Ellie patted the shotgun over her back mimicking Joel. That got a small chuckle out of him. He walked back to the highway with Ellie.

"We're a team now. We help each other out."

"Yeah, you could say that."

* * *

**[AN] Yes, the start of this chapter was inspired by Bioshock Infinite. Anyways, don't forget to leave a review. Thanks for reading.**


	14. Chapter 13: Ashes

"Common Ellie, run!" Joel called out. He heard Ellie sprinting behind him.

Smoke was starting to fill his lungs, the entire town was on fire, and a bunch of hunters were chancing after them, largely because he and Ellie were trespassing in their town, and were responsible for the fire.

Apparently, dragons breath ammo was good for that.

Now, there they where, trapped inside a building that was burning to the ground, armed with shotguns loaded with dragons breath, which was now starting to be a risk to themselves.

"Through here!" Joel said as he kicked open a door that lead to a back ally. He stumbled out the door, and was on his knees, gasping for air. He heard Ellie fall down next to him on the pavement, coughing heavily.

"We don't got much time!" Joel said as he helped Ellie to her feet.

Ellie coughed one last time before saying, "Lets get the fuck out of here." She looked around for a way to leave the town, then grabbed Joel by the arm, "Look out!" Their was a hunter aiming at them with a rifle. Joel fired a shot in his general direction, more for the purpose of distracting him than trying to hit him. A bullet flew past Joel's head just as he turned the corner.

"This way!" Ellie yelled to Joel. Joel looked over to where she was running towards, and saw the forest that marked the edge of the town. He chased after her as fast as he could.

Joel heard a gunshot and saw Ellie fall over, dropping her shotgun

"Ellie!" Joel ran to her as fast as she could.

Joel saw someone run over to her and grab her by the feet, trying to drag her off the street.

_That will be the last thing you ever do._ Joel thought as he aimed his shotgun.

"Joel!"

"Where's daddy now you little bit-" the hunter's taunting stopped by a blast from Joel's shotgun. The hunter's dead body flopped on top of Ellie, who was struggling to push it off

Joel tossed the corpse off Ellie. "Can you run?"

Ellie stood up, winced in pain, but nodded.

"Follow me. If you need me to carry you now's the ti-" Joel felt and saw Ellie push him to the ground and pull out her pistol, firing three shots where Joel had just been standing. He heard a man fall down behind him. Joel stood up.

"Lets get the fuck out of here!" Ellie said as she picked up her shotgun in the middle of the street, and ran toward the forest on the edge of town. Joel ran after her, leaving an entire town burning in their wake.

* * *

"Holy shit." Ellie said.

To be honest, she'd said that a lot since she entered that town, along with lots of other colorful language.

"How the fuck are we still alive?" She asked, looking up at Joel.

"Dumb luck. I'll take it though." Joel said. He saw a building up ahead, and as much as he wanted to get farther away from that town, they were both exhausted, sore, tired, hungry, dehydrated, and needed rest.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Ellie asked Joel in between breaths.

_Absolutely_. "Lets hold up in there."

Joel realized that the building was at least ten stories tall. "Probably some corporate conference center. Or something." Joel wasn't thinking clearly. The adrenalin from combat had worn off, leaving him only with exhaustion.

Joel opened the door to the office building. "We need to get to the top floor."

"So fucking exhausted..." Ellie managed to get out as she stumbled down on the carpet floor of the lobby to her hands and knees, and cried out in pain. Joel ran over to Ellie and saw the gunshot wound on her her right leg, just above the ankle.

"Common now, lean on me." Joel placed her arm over his shoulder and helped her get up.

"I'm fine..." Ellie tried to say in between gasps.

"Like hell you are." Joel walked up the stairwell supporting Ellie, who was now hopping on her left foot.

"Hey, Joel?"

"What."

"Mind carrying me? I'm not going to be able to handle the stairs." Joel obliged.

"Thanks." Ellie said as Joel carried her up the stairwell.

* * *

Joel set Ellie down on the carpet floor of the office building.

"Man, this hurts like a bitch!" Ellie said, probably referencing the gunshot wound.

"You're lucky it wasn't a lot worse"

"Thanks. It still hurts like a bitch." Joel chuckled at that.

Joel kelt down next to her and took off his backpack, looking for one of his medkits.

"Thanks for saving me back there." Ellie said.

"You saved me more than once back there. It's nothin. " Joel handed her his shotgun. "Please get the fucking dragons breath out of this thing."

"Good idea." Ellie began emptying the shotgun, loading it with standard buckshot.

"Here we go." Joel pulled out his alcohol filled rag. The bullet wound was more of a nasty cut than anything else, due to the bullet only grazing her.

"Here." Ellie handed him his shotgun back. "You reloaded yours yet?"

"I'm on it." Ellie grabbed her shotgun and started unloading it.

"Ellie, Im' gonna need you to role up your pants over your wound, okay?"

Ellie pulled up her right pant leg to show the bullet wound.

"Now, this is gonna sting a bit, so..."

"Back in the zone, whenever doctors said it would only hurt a bit, it hurt a lot. Same here?" Ellie asked.

"Yep."

"Just get it over with."

Joel raped the rag around the wound.

"That'll keep away any infection."

"It better." Ellie said. "Hey, look over there." She pointed out one of the windows, which made up the entire outer wall of the building.

Joel saw a bunch of smoke in the distance.

"We did that, didn't we?"

"Yeah, that was us." Joel said as he turned around to face Ellie, who was now sitting up against a cubicle wall.

Ellie sighed, "I feel kinda bad about it."

"Don't. They were trying to kill us."

"I'm not saying I wouldn't do it again. They tried to kill you, I'm not sorry about what I've done. It's just... I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"People like that don't deserve much better. They ain't gonna change. Once you cross a certain line, you almost never get back. At first, lots of people had to kill to survive, don't get me wrong. Some still do. But now, its the only way lots of people know how to live."

"But that can't be true."

Joel chuckled at that, "What makes you say that?" He knew he was right. All he had to do was look at himself.

"You changed, didn't you?" Ellie said.

That stopped Joel cold.

He wasn't exactly sure what to think of that.

He stared at Ellie, who stared back.

Joel was fairly sure she didn't know what to make of his reaction.

_Hell, I don't even know what to make of my reaction. _Joel thought to himself.

After a minute of silence, Joel turned back out towards the window.

From what Joel could tell, this girl actually cared about him. He knew he didn't deserve that. She was better than him in every way that mattered, Joel knew that. Hell, she had to know that.

Yet for whatever reason, Ellie thought he was a half decent human being. He lost any sense of that two decades ago. He wasn't getting that back. Nobody could live like that anymore. Sure, he was a lot better than a lot of people out there, but he was no hero.

Quite frankly, the fact that Ellie thought anything good about him beyond his ability to survive was a bit frightening.

More so because a part of himself thought Ellie just might be correct.

Ellie broke the ice. "So, want to hear a joke?"

Joel turned around and sat down against a cubicle across from her.

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in the leaves?"

A dramatic pause.

"Russell." Joel and Ellie both burst into laugher at that one.

"That was by far the best one in there."

"Can't agree more." Ellie replied.

Joel enjoyed the next couple hours.

* * *

"Joel... Joel... Please.. "

"Ellie, wake up." Joel walked over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You okay?" Joel asked.

"Yeah... Just a nightmare, from what happened back in the town."

"Oh."

"You left me in one of the burning buildings. Thanks for waking me up."

What.

She was having nightmares about him leaving her?

Joel walked back to where he was sleeping and lied down, knowing he wasn't going to be able to fall asleep with that knowledge.

Joel was staring at the celling, unsure what to make of the clusterfuck of emotions going through him right now.

Joel heard Ellie get up and hop over to him on her left leg. She got down and placed the back of her head on his right shoulder.

"You don't mind, do you?" She asked.

"No." Joel said, which wasn't entirely true.

Joel had two major emotions right now, he felt a wave of self loathing, and also felt blessed at the same time.

Blessed that Ellie could find some comfort in him, knowing that he would never leave her.

Self hatred knowing that he didn't deserve a scrap of the emotion this girl felt towards him. Not with the shit he'd done. Not with the blood of so many innocent lives on his hands.

She deserved so much better than him.

_At least I can keep her safe. _Joel thought to himself. That much, he knew he could do.

Joel knew that she easily deserved that.

* * *

**[AN] Sadly, school is starting up again soon. That probably means I won't be updating as much as I have been recently. So, if I go a week without updating, I'm not dead. Just an FYI.**

**Dont forget to leave feedback. Thanks for reading.**


	15. Chapter 14: Bombing & Bonding

**[AN] Shout out to BlueSky509 for giving feedback on almost every chapter I've posted. **

**Also, if anyone has any scenarios or ideas for chapters, please let me know. I've been struggling to figure out to write about (that's why I haven't updated in a while). This chapter isn't my best work by a long shot, but I figured I should update this story, just to let all of you know I'm still alive and kicking.**

**Additionally, school has started up for me. I'm not going to stop posting, but there might be long breaks in between chapters. **

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"What are the fucking odds of this?" Joel looked over towards Ellie who was inspecting her shotgun. "That pice of shit managed to dent the barrel." Joel noticed an indentation on the side of the shotgun barrel, presumably caused by the revolver that bandit had shot at her with.

That bandit was now lying on the floor of the house.

"Let me see that." Ellie tossed him her shotgun, and he looked over the barrel. The barrel was to damaged to use. "Sorry, but I can't fix this."

"Shit."

"Its not that big of a problem. We'll find another."

"Yeah." Ellie paused for a moment. "Can take the barrel off?"

"Sure, but why?"

"If I hadn't been holding that shotgun, the bullet would have got me. I don't know, I just want to keep it."

Joel figured it couldn't do much harm for her to have it. He removed the barrel and tossed it over to her.

"You forgot to even say catch this time." Ellie said as she caught the barrel.

"Catch."

"Too late." Ellie took off her pack and reached for her joke book. "What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob."

Joel failed miserably at suppressing a chuckle. "That's sick."

"You're sick."

"Put that thing away. We need to be ready in case that bandit had friends."

"We would've heard from them by now." Ellie said, putting the book away regardless. She looked over the dented barrel one more time before placing it in her pack. "Shouldn't we search this place for this guy's base? Might be some good stuff there."

"Lets make sure nobody else is gonna come looking for him." Joel pointed at the dead bandit.

They waited for a couple minutes and nobody else showed up. "Lets go."

"Yeah."

"Wait... We didn't check upstairs." Ellie ran up the stairs.

"Careful!" Joel called after her. "Their might be tra-" he was cut off by the sound of an explosion from upstairs. "ELLIE! " Joel ran up the stairs.

He heard Ellie coughing, "I'm fine. I'm fine." Joel reached the floor and saw her on her hands and knees.

"You okay?" Joel helped her stand up. He was trying to calm himself down.

"Yeah... I'm okay." Ellie stood up. "It came from over there." Ellie pointed over to the far wall, now partly destroyed.

"We're lucky, this guy didn't know what he was doing. He directed the force of the blast right into the wall. Next time, be careful"

"I will. Well, he probably had something worth taking if he went through all that trouble to keep this place safe, right?"

"I'll check it out, you wait downstairs."

"Joel -"

"No." Joel cut her off. "I don't want you setting anything else off."

"But-"

"Guard downstairs. Now." Joel's voice was firm.

"Fine." Ellie begrudgingly walked downstairs.

Joel looked around the room. To his surprise he didn't find anything worth taking other than a couple of bullets. He walked back downstairs. "Nothing up there but a couple rounds."

"I found this down here." Ellie kicked an old cooler without turning to face Joel. He walked up to the cooler and lifted the lid.

"Well I'll be damned." Joel saw several cans of red bull.

"What's that?" Ellie asked?

"It's filled with energy drinks. Here, give this one a try." Joel opened a red bull and handed it to her. She lifted it up to her lips, and spat it back out.

"What is this shit!" She reached for her canteen and drank a large gulp of water to wash out the taste.

"It's Red Bull." Joel said calmly, trying to hide a smile.

"More like bull piss! Who the fuck would drink that?"

"People who needed energy, like needing to finish some work."

"You guys got tired from the work you did? Didn't you just sit around all day or something?"

"I was a construction worker, remember?"

"I mean most people. Must have been a bunch of dumb asses to drink this shit."

"I drank that stuff every now and then."

"So you wouldn't mind having a sip now?" Ellie reached over to the container and tossed him a Red Bull. "Drink or I pull out the joke book.

Joel quickly opened the can and chugged it. Ellie laughed.

"You're right." Joel grimaced. "This stuff does taste like bull piss."

"I'm right as always. Follow me." She walked out of the house.

"Ellie, wait up!" Joel walked after her.


End file.
